Letter From Tibet (FAO G Paladini)

High on a plateau in Tibet, in a region that is almost inaccessible, stands a Monastery that is home to a ‘Silent Order’ of Monks. Aside from the obvious spiritual leaders, the Monks have always had their own leader or to be more precise, the one known as ‘The Master’. A line unbroken for fifteen generations, that is until sixty odd years ago when the last ‘Master’ left this life and moved onto the next one. Since then, the temporary ‘Master’ has sent Monks out into our world, following the winds to the four corners of the earth in the search for the next ‘Master’. Below is a letter sent from the Monastery and addressed to the person who the Monks believe may be a re-incarnation of ‘The Master’ and hence their spiritual leader.


Huang – Po.. (Temporary Master)


Mr G Paladini..known as ‘Tongxuan’ (which means ‘Master who rides the Yak’)

Dearest Tongxuan,

Forgive me for contacting you directly but please read on and let me explain. As I explained in my previous correspondence to your assistant, (the boy Nico) we have stumbled upon an irremovable object. As in reply to my correspondence, he informed me that all correspondence should cease forthwith otherwise he would have me up in front of ‘The Beak’ (what is ‘Beak’ Master ?)

I then told him that he obviously believes that he experiences life as a transitory mortal, when in fact he is part of the eternal mind of the Universe. Consider the tree that allows the birds to perch and fly away without calling them to come, or longing for them not to leave. If your heart can be like a tree, then you will be close to our way. To which he replied.

‘Right then, legal action it is.’

Therefore I conclude.in the same way that insects can settle anywhere but in the flames of a fire, so the limited mind can relate to anything but wisdom. But let us cast our minds back many months Master. One spring day of this year, one of the junior Monks approached me and indicated that he must speak out. As you know, ours is a silent Order therefore I knew that any news he may bring may be life changing for our Order. Therefore, I granted him permission. He informed me that many moons Yak ride west, was a leader that had taken on the might of ‘The Peoples Republic’ had every intention of invading that country and to such ends, they sent a vanguard under the guise of a ‘Football Team’. However, the glorious leader (you Master) saw through the devilish and fiendish plot and instructed his football players to, ‘Give them a good slap.’ This Master has been written upon parchment and henceforth shall be known as, ‘The Battle of Harlington’ which shall pass into folklore.

Who could be such a man ? We wondered

Where did he come from ?

Why did he confront the might of ‘The Peoples Republic’ ?

So we obtained a photograph of you..and thus we began to understand. For you are indeed the 16th re-incarnation of our leader’The Master’. To confirm beyond all doubt, we subjected your picture to the ‘Final Test’. Your picture was placed upon a table in full view of the late Master’s full set of dentures. If any proof was needed, it was duly provided that day..for the dentures began moving around the table and chattering without stop. So you seeyou are indeed ‘The Master’.

I have sent six of our Monks to collect you and deliver you home to us safely Master. Leave the world that you inhabit now without a backward glance, for it is a selfish, self serving world. A world akin to Purgatory. We look forward to and rejoice at your impending arrival Master.

But Master, your assistant, (the boy Nico) alas, there can be no such place for one such as him here. We understand that he is a ‘Legal Type’ which carries little, if any respect. Far from using his position to defend the weak, seek justice for the poor and downtrodden, we understand that ‘Legal Types’ bend and twist to their advantage the very laws that they are charged to uphold. So while the poor man gently weeps with an empty stomachso the ‘Legal Type’ counts his fee and concerns himself with being ‘Armani’d Up’.and they call that civilization Master ? So Master, please leave your assistant behind, we fear he may already be beyond redemption.

Master, we welcome you with open hearts and minds. We await your arrival and instructions. Remember Master, the entire world is a doorway to freedom, yet people are unwilling to pass through.

p.s I prostrate myself before you.

p.p.s Do you know someone called Zico ? Only we provided him with 1000 robes and 1000 pairs of sandals, as of yet, we have not received any payment !

6 thoughts on “Letter From Tibet (FAO G Paladini)

  1. No doubt when it comes to masters…Zico is THE master. A genuine top post,arguably the best post on this site since day one. Steve… just hope you get your dough.. that said don’t hold your breath…

  2. Haa Haa !!!! Quality post.

    Trippitakka say “xaing gu ti fre sosm je lossjjd”

    Roughly translates into cockney as “where’s me bleedin’ dosh, mush”!

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