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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
When I was a kid, we were so poor, my mum used to get all my clothes from the Army & Navy.
It was so humiliating, going to school in the full dress uniform of a Japanese admiral.
On This Day In History:
In 1961, Del Shannon was top of the charts, with "Runaway."
It was so humiliating, going to school in the full dress uniform of a Japanese admiral.
On This Day In History:
In 1961, Del Shannon was top of the charts, with "Runaway."
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Last night, I dreamt I was making 1,000 pancakes.
I was tossing & turning all night.
Interesting Fact: Coronation Street's theme tune is called Kaleidoscope No. 1
I was tossing & turning all night.
Interesting Fact: Coronation Street's theme tune is called Kaleidoscope No. 1
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Asked my mate if he'd seen the new Elvis film; he said, "Uh-huh."
Interesting fact: the Pearl & Dean music is called "Asteroids."
All together now, pa-pa-pa-pa, pa-pa-pa-pa-pa......
Interesting fact: the Pearl & Dean music is called "Asteroids."
All together now, pa-pa-pa-pa, pa-pa-pa-pa-pa......
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Just got a job at a factory that makes bike wheels.
I'm their new spokesman.
Interesting Fact:
The full name of Mr. Humphreys in "Are You Being Served?" was Wilberforce Clayborn.
I'm their new spokesman.
Interesting Fact:
The full name of Mr. Humphreys in "Are You Being Served?" was Wilberforce Clayborn.
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Saw a group last night - Blanket.
They're a covers band.
And bye-bye Boris.
The Tory Party sacks their leaders more often than QPR sack their managers!
Stop being gullible!! Send me £2,000 & I'll show you how.
They're a covers band.
And bye-bye Boris.
The Tory Party sacks their leaders more often than QPR sack their managers!
Stop being gullible!! Send me £2,000 & I'll show you how.
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
btw, Michael Gove for next P.M??steveqpr881 wrote: ↑Fri Jul 08, 2022 9:17 am
And bye-bye Boris.
The Tory Party sacks their leaders more often than QPR sack their managers!
Would be nice to have an Rs fan in No. 10.
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Since Boris resigned, I've been deluged with emails, letters, phone calls.......
hundreds of them; well, dozens (you've done this to death already - ed.)
OK, to be honest, none. But they all said the same thing -
"Why don't you run for PM, Steve?"
Well, I'd love to.
I know I'd make a good one.
But there's just one small problem.....
I'm not a member of the Tory Party.
But I'd be happy to serve in some other capacity - say Minister of Mirth.
And here, to launch my campaign, is this ribbed tickler fresh from The Tony Blackburn Show*
I had dinner with a group of electricians;
they skipped the starter & went straight to the mains.
Vote for me!!
* - he ripped of yet another of my jokes on this morning's show -
the one about an insomniac sleeping on the edge of the bed & dropping off.
I'm sure he reads this thread......
hundreds of them; well, dozens (you've done this to death already - ed.)
OK, to be honest, none. But they all said the same thing -
"Why don't you run for PM, Steve?"
Well, I'd love to.
I know I'd make a good one.
But there's just one small problem.....
I'm not a member of the Tory Party.
But I'd be happy to serve in some other capacity - say Minister of Mirth.
And here, to launch my campaign, is this ribbed tickler fresh from The Tony Blackburn Show*
I had dinner with a group of electricians;
they skipped the starter & went straight to the mains.
Vote for me!!
* - he ripped of yet another of my jokes on this morning's show -
the one about an insomniac sleeping on the edge of the bed & dropping off.
I'm sure he reads this thread......
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
I was ripped off at the binocular shop.
They must have seen me coming.
On This Day In History:
12th July 1962, The Rolling Stones played their first gig, at The Marquee.
They must have seen me coming.
On This Day In History:
12th July 1962, The Rolling Stones played their first gig, at The Marquee.
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Newsflash! A lorry carrying 2 tons of strawberries has overturned on the M1;
police warn that there may be a large jam.
I entered the Unusual Pet Competition. But the judges said a tin of sardines wasn't allowed.
police warn that there may be a large jam.
I entered the Unusual Pet Competition. But the judges said a tin of sardines wasn't allowed.
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
What about this hot weather, eh?
I went to buy an ice cream, I asked the bloke for a 99 with all the trimmings.
He said, do you want a flake? I said yes please;
Strawberry sauce? Yes please;
Hundreds & thousands? Yes please;
Crushed nuts? I said no, I always walk like this.
I went to buy an ice cream, I asked the bloke for a 99 with all the trimmings.
He said, do you want a flake? I said yes please;
Strawberry sauce? Yes please;
Hundreds & thousands? Yes please;
Crushed nuts? I said no, I always walk like this.