Independent Rs Messageboard

[steveqpr881]

Asked my mate if he'd seen the new Elvis film; he said, "Uh-huh."

Interesting fact: the Pearl & Dean music is called "Asteroids."
All together now, pa-pa-pa-pa, pa-pa-pa-pa-pa......

[steveqpr881]

Saw a group last night - Blanket.
They're a covers band.

And bye-bye Boris.
The Tory Party sacks their leaders more often than QPR sack their managers!

Stop being gullible!! Send me £2,000 & I'll show you how.

[steveqpr881]

And bye-bye Boris.
The Tory Party sacks their leaders more often than QPR sack their managers!

btw, Michael Gove for next P.M??
Would be nice to have an Rs fan in No. 10.

[steveqpr881]

Since Boris resigned, I've been deluged with emails, letters, phone calls.......
hundreds of them; well, dozens (you've done this to death already - ed.)
OK, to be honest, none. But they all said the same thing -
"Why don't you run for PM, Steve?"
Well, I'd love to.
I know I'd make a good one.
But there's just one small problem.....
I'm not a member of the Tory Party.
But I'd be happy to serve in some other capacity - say Minister of Mirth.
And here, to launch my campaign, is this ribbed tickler fresh from The Tony Blackburn Show*

I had dinner with a group of electricians;
they skipped the starter & went straight to the mains.
Vote for me!!


* - he ripped of yet another of my jokes on this morning's show -
the one about an insomniac sleeping on the edge of the bed & dropping off.
I'm sure he reads this thread......

[steveqpr881]

I was ripped off at the binocular shop.
They must have seen me coming.

On This Day In History:
12th July 1962, The Rolling Stones played their first gig, at The Marquee.

[steveqpr881]

Newsflash! A lorry carrying 2 tons of strawberries has overturned on the M1;
police warn that there may be a large jam.

I entered the Unusual Pet Competition. But the judges said a tin of sardines wasn't allowed.

[steveqpr881]

What about this hot weather, eh?
I went to buy an ice cream, I asked the bloke for a 99 with all the trimmings.
He said, do you want a flake? I said yes please;
Strawberry sauce? Yes please;
Hundreds & thousands? Yes please;
Crushed nuts? I said no, I always walk like this.