He said, "Is it instant?" I said, "I'll be as quick as I can."
I've just written my autobiography, but I can't find a publisher who's interested.
That's the story of my life....
Search found 1581 matches
- Mon Jun 03, 2024 7:42 am
- Forum: The Independent Times
- Topic: Joke Thread 3.0
- Replies: 412
- Views: 935355
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
A friend came round the house, I offered him a coffee.
He said, "Is it instant?" I said, "I'll be as quick as I can."
I've just written my autobiography, but I can't find a publisher who's interested.
That's the story of my life....
He said, "Is it instant?" I said, "I'll be as quick as I can."
I've just written my autobiography, but I can't find a publisher who's interested.
That's the story of my life....
- Mon Jun 03, 2024 7:39 am
- Forum: The Independent Times
- Topic: Celebrity Deathwatch
- Replies: 352
- Views: 557845
Re: Celebrity Deathwatch
R.I.P. ex-rugby player (Leeds Rhinos) & charity campaigner, Rob Burrows.
- Sat Jun 01, 2024 1:05 pm
- Forum: The Independent Times
- Topic: Joke Thread 3.0
- Replies: 412
- Views: 935355
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
I went to see a shrink, because I kept thinking I was a hotel.
He said, "Can I ask you a few questions?"
I said, "Sure - be my guest."
He said, "Can I ask you a few questions?"
I said, "Sure - be my guest."
- Fri May 31, 2024 9:40 am
- Forum: The Independent Times
- Topic: Joke Thread 3.0
- Replies: 412
- Views: 935355
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
My local library has started lending vegetables.I thought - that's a turnip for the books. 
Interesting Fact:
Legally, ice cream vans' chimes must last no more than 12 seconds.
Well I never!
Interesting Fact:
Legally, ice cream vans' chimes must last no more than 12 seconds.
Well I never!
- Fri May 31, 2024 9:38 am
- Forum: The Independent Times
- Topic: Celebrity Deathwatch
- Replies: 352
- Views: 557845
Re: Celebrity Deathwatch
R.I.P. Brighton seafront fortune teller, Eva Petulengro.
Bet she wasn't expecting that......
Bet she wasn't expecting that......
- Thu May 30, 2024 10:15 am
- Forum: The Independent Times
- Topic: Joke Thread 3.0
- Replies: 412
- Views: 935355
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
My 3 sons have won the Pogoing Championship for the 3rd year running!
That's 3 on the bounce!!
Top Tip:
Never fall asleep on a cross word - you'll wake up with a puzzled expression.
That's 3 on the bounce!!
Top Tip:
Never fall asleep on a cross word - you'll wake up with a puzzled expression.
- Thu May 30, 2024 10:13 am
- Forum: The Boot Room
- Topic: Tottenham/Brighton Pre-Season....
- Replies: 3
- Views: 165
Re: Tottenham/Brighton Pre-Season....
I have got quite a few bets on (all for a pint) with various Spuds & Reading-supporting friends.
Either we will do well in both games & I'll be pished for a week.....or I'll be broke.
Either we will do well in both games & I'll be pished for a week.....or I'll be broke.
- Thu May 30, 2024 10:11 am
- Forum: The Boot Room
- Topic: And Welcome to Daniel Bennie.....
- Replies: 1
- Views: 81
Re: And Welcome to Daniel Bennie.....
All over Facebook yesterday & dismissed as clickbait.......now it turns out to be true.
Good luck to him.
Good luck to him.
- Thu May 30, 2024 10:10 am
- Forum: The Boot Room
- Topic: Mark Lazarus Interview...
- Replies: 2
- Views: 110
Re: Mark Lazarus Interview...
A great read, can't wait for Part 2.
Mark's description of Alec Stock doesn't quite fit in with all the 'Ron Manager' stuff......
Mark's description of Alec Stock doesn't quite fit in with all the 'Ron Manager' stuff......
- Wed May 29, 2024 7:31 am
- Forum: The Independent Times
- Topic: Celebrity Deathwatch
- Replies: 352
- Views: 557845
Re: Celebrity Deathwatch
R.I.P. Albert Ruddy, Oscar-winning producer of The Godfather.