Independent Rs Messageboard

[steveqpr881]

Newsflash!
A Tupperware lady has gone on the rampage.
It took 5 police officers to container.....

[steveqpr881]

I asked the council for a permit to play loud music, but I got turned down

Just bought a crossbreed dog from a magician - it's a Labracadabra.

[steveqpr881]

Just noticed - this fred is thru the 1 MILLION views milestone!!!!!

[steveqpr881]

I entered my model railway in a competition, and it came 2nd - just lost on points.
Mind you, the first time I made a model railway, it was a disaster & I had to scrap it;
luckily, I managed to cover my tracks.

[steveqpr881]

I've been researching where the word moustache comes from.
I looked all over, and didn't realise - it was right under my nose!

If anyone wants to talk to me about my poor joinery, my door is always open.

Interesting Fact:
In a mission on the International Space Station in 2007, astronaut Sunita Williams ran 26.2 miles on a treadmill,
becoming the 1st person to run a marathon in space!

[steveqpr881]

I hate buying new tyres....I object to the inflated prices

I've been sacked from my job in the ice cream parlour - I couldn't do sundaes.

Interesting Fact:
Match of The Day was originally about tennis! Well I never!

[steveqpr881]

From Monday's post:
Interesting Fact:
In a mission on the International Space Station in 2007, astronaut Sunita Williams ran 26.2 miles on a treadmill,
becoming the 1st person to run a marathon in space!

By coincidence, today is her 59th birthday.

I used to get through several Marathons a week......until they changed the name to Snickers.

[steveqpr881]

I had a minor operation at the local hospital this morning - had a growth removed from my foot.
Before they started, one doctor if I had a high threshold of pain;
I lay there thinking, "Well, I've followed the Rs for 60 years, so yeah......."

Anyway, today's ribbed tickler:
The chef who invented Tiramisu has died. He will shortly be layered to rest.
My wish to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is always a whim away.....

And an Interesting Fact:
Now, I don't know how this can be possible, but I read it in The Times -
Taylor Swift's cat is worth $97MILLION!!!

[steveqpr881]

Right, here's an absolute cracker, when I heard it on the Tony Blackburn Show this morning, I laughed out loud:
I took my new girlfriend out last night & she asked me if I had any pets. I said, "Yes - a goldfish."
She said, "Any hobbies?" "Well," I said - "He likes swimming."

[steveqpr881]

I nailed a dart board to the ceiling.
Not a good idea - it made me throw up.