Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Mon Mar 25, 2024 11:16 am
The wife said I was very immature.....so I've banned her from my tree house. 
You might say, I'm frittering my money away......
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Joke Thread 3.0
Page 38 of 42
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Tue Mar 26, 2024 11:39 am
Just bought a deep fat fryer. I put £20 notes in it & cover them in batter.
You might say, I'm frittering my money away......
You might say, I'm frittering my money away......
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Thu Mar 28, 2024 12:41 pm
I'm having a bit of a clear-out; got a kite for sale, no strings attached.
Or how about a glove puppet - will someone take it off my hands??
Or how about a glove puppet - will someone take it off my hands??
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2024 11:11 am
Got a backlog of Easter jokes, courtesy of Tony Blackburn
I stepped on a hot cross bun & got an electric shock - a currant ran up my leg.
Went to the doctor, I said I feel like a chocolate Easter bunny;
he said how do you mean? I said hollow inside.
Interesting Fact:
Soul singer Marvin Gaye was born on this day in 1939;
he played drums on Motown's 1st US No. 1, 'Please Mr. Postman,' by The Marvelettes.
And a bonus Interesting Fact (M'sieu, you are really spoiling us!)
The weekend's Chelsea v Burnley game had 51 shots; only 1 Premiership game has had more,
52 in QPR v Leicester, November 2014
I stepped on a hot cross bun & got an electric shock - a currant ran up my leg.
Went to the doctor, I said I feel like a chocolate Easter bunny;
he said how do you mean? I said hollow inside.
Interesting Fact:
Soul singer Marvin Gaye was born on this day in 1939;
he played drums on Motown's 1st US No. 1, 'Please Mr. Postman,' by The Marvelettes.
And a bonus Interesting Fact (M'sieu, you are really spoiling us!)
The weekend's Chelsea v Burnley game had 51 shots; only 1 Premiership game has had more,
52 in QPR v Leicester, November 2014
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2024 11:05 am
Told my interior decorator, I didn't want any carpet on the staircase;
he just gave me a blank stare.
he just gave me a blank stare.
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Tue Apr 09, 2024 12:31 pm
Just bumped into a bloke I haven't seen for years - he once sold me a miniature globe.
It's a small world......
It's a small world......
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Wed Apr 10, 2024 7:41 am
I woke up, and my moustache was gone!
It was stolen right from underneath my nose.
It was stolen right from underneath my nose.
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Thu Apr 11, 2024 11:00 am
A friend of mine has just retired after working 20 years driving a limousine.
He didn't have a pension though - all that work & nothing to chauffeur it.
He didn't have a pension though - all that work & nothing to chauffeur it.
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Fri Apr 12, 2024 10:47 am
Just been given a Thesaurus. Can't find the words to express my gratitude.
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Mon Apr 15, 2024 10:59 am
I was talking to Steve R the other day, I said "Steve, have you seen that film, the Hunt For Red October?"
He said, "No - I hate films with sub titles."
He said, "No - I hate films with sub titles."