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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Mon Feb 12, 2024 10:53 am
by steveqpr881
They say everyone needs a hobby, so I've taken up meditation.
Well, it's better than sitting around doing nothing.
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2024 11:31 am
by steveqpr881
Must admit, I'm a bit of a prude.
If I see any innuendo in a joke, I whip it out immediately
I opened my water & electricity bills at the same time; I certainly got a shock!
Top Tip:
Ladies, if your man says he'll do something, he'll do it;
there's no need to keep reminding him every 6 months.
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2024 11:56 am
by steveqpr881
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2024 11:52 am
by steveqpr881
I went to the National Toupee Awards last night.
All the bigwigs were there.
Thought For The Day:
Paradoxes are funny things - you can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2024 10:09 am
by steveqpr881
Just bought a cross-breed dog from a magician; it's a Labrcadabra.
Top Tip:
Want to look 10 years younger?
Take your glasses off before you look in the mirror.
Don't you just hate it when people answer their own questions?
I do!!
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2024 10:23 am
by steveqpr881
If anybody needs a lesson in double entendre, I'd be happy to give you one
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2024 11:36 am
by steveqpr881
My clock business hasn't been doing very well, I've had to wind it up.
On a more positive note (it couldn't get any worse - ed.) I've been writing a book about
clocks & watches, it's taken me years but it's out next week. It's about time.
And the welcome return of an old favourite - The Burning Issue.
Today we ask - forcing rhubarb, should it be outlawed??
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2024 11:18 am
by steveqpr881
I failed the magician's exam. They were all trick questions.
The wife kept nagging me, for doing an impression of a flamingo;
well, I had to put my foot down!
Thought For The Day:
Is chewing your nails cannibalism??
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2024 12:16 pm
by steveqpr881
I've just been diagnosed as having a fear of giants;
or to use the medical term, Feefifobia.
Some things that didn't exist 20 years ago:-
Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, You Tube, Uber, Spotify......and Man City fans.
Thought For The Day:
Dog grooming - should the RSPCA do something about it??
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Fri Mar 01, 2024 11:44 am
by steveqpr881
I've taken up ballet lessons!
Tell you what, learning to pirouette certainly keeps you on your toes.
Drank a bottle of invisible ink, so I had to go to A & E;
took me hours to be seen.