For all QPR and Non QPR threads that don't fit in the other areas.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1697
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I went to the Club shop yesterday & bought a Guinness mash-up shirt -
it's very Marmite, but I love it. A snip at £49.99! :o

And what Christmas Comedy Classic lurks behind today's door on the Advent Calendar of Doom?
The kids keep laughing at my poor grasp of reality.......
well, they won't be laughing on Xmas Day, when there are no eggs under the bonfire :?
;)
steveqpr881
Posts: 1697
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

The welcome return of an old favourite - (it may be old, but it's no-one's favourite - ed.)
The Burning Question.
Today we ask - Die Hard - IS it a Christmas film??

While you're pondering that ( I love a good ponder - ed.)
it's time to open today's door on The Advent Calendar of Doom.
Just opened a Christmas card, and a load of rice fell out!
It was from Uncle Ben.
:roll:
steveqpr881
Posts: 1697
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Good news, mirth fans. I was at the office Xmas party yesterday, and there were crackers! :o
So here are the best jokes from therm......
What happened when the snowgirl fell out with the snowman? She gave him the cold shoulder. :D
How does Darth Vader like his Xmas turkey? On the Dark Side.
:lol:
steveqpr881
Posts: 1697
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

My 'sticky playing cards' joke was read out on this morning's Tony Blackburn Show;
as usual, not a word of credit. :roll:
Anyway, time to open today's door (don't worry, not many left - ed.) on
(creaking noise) The Advent Calendar of Doooom!
Speaking of Darth Vader (see Friday's door), it was Christmas Eve on the Death Star
and Darth Vader said to the evil emperor, "I know what you've got for Xmas, oh lord - :o
I felt your presents."
:mrgreen:
steveqpr881
Posts: 1697
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »


Man U fans - fancy a short break? You can't beat Bournemouth! :D

And for the penultimate time this year (I'll hold you to that - ed.)
we open the door on The Advent Calendar of Doom.

What did one snowman say to another?
Do you smell carrot??

And a newsflash: Glitter has been banned this Xmas! :o
Well, it's been on the cards for years.
;)
steveqpr881
Posts: 1697
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Sad news, mirth fans, as we open the very last door on this year's
Advent Calendar of Dooom.

After last year's Xmas dinner, the wife asked if I could clear the table;
it took a long run-in, but I manages it!
Merry Xmas, everybody!!
steveqpr881
Posts: 1697
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Back to normal with the jokes -
My favourite school teacher was Mrs. Turtle. An odd name, but she really taught us.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1697
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

The local lion tamer has gone bankrupt - must be terrible, to lose his pride!
Maybe we could have a whip-round for him.
:?
steveqpr881
Posts: 1697
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

A bear walks into a pub.
He says, "Can I have a large vodka.............and Coke, please."
The barman asks, "Why the long pause?"
The bear replies, "Dunno - I've had them since I was born."
No animals were harmed in the making of this joke.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1697
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

A mate told me to bet on a horse called Landfill, so I had a fiver on it.
But it came last - what a poor tip that was. :(

Highlighters are the pens of the future - mark my words.
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