Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2025 12:42 pm
My washing machine's broken, and I've given up trying to fix it -
I had to throw the towel in.....
I had to throw the towel in.....
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Joke Thread 3.0
Page 32 of 34
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2025 11:06 am
I find my aquarium very relaxing....it must be all the indoor fins.....
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2025 10:28 am
My watch repair shop has gone bust 
It was ticking over ok, then it ran out of business, so I had to wind it up.
It was ticking over ok, then it ran out of business, so I had to wind it up.
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2025 9:13 am
I was walking down the road, and I saw Suggs coming towards me.
I thought - that's a sign of approaching Madness.
The wife wasn't too happy when I bought a revolving chair -
but once she'd sat on it, she soon came around!
The government has asked people to nominate things which can be preserved, as
Great British Traditions. I nominate the QPR Injury Crisis, it's a regular thing, every season.
I thought - that's a sign of approaching Madness.
The wife wasn't too happy when I bought a revolving chair -
but once she'd sat on it, she soon came around!
The government has asked people to nominate things which can be preserved, as
Great British Traditions. I nominate the QPR Injury Crisis, it's a regular thing, every season.
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2025 10:55 am
I sent my hearing aid off to be fixed, weeks ago - I've heard nothing since.
Thought For the Day:
Aren't satnavs wonderful? We'd be lost without them!
Thought For the Day:
Aren't satnavs wonderful? We'd be lost without them!
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2025 10:24 am
Aren't bookies annoying? They want it all their own way!!
Last Sat., I tried to put a bet on Oxford in the Boat Race, but they wouldn't let me make an each-way bet.
Today, apparently, is (wait for it) National Glazed Spiral Ham Day!
I've said it before, I'll say it again - who, ah say WHO, boy, decides these things??
Last Sat., I tried to put a bet on Oxford in the Boat Race, but they wouldn't let me make an each-way bet.
Today, apparently, is (wait for it) National Glazed Spiral Ham Day!
I've said it before, I'll say it again - who, ah say WHO, boy, decides these things??
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2025 11:11 am
Farmers say that their cows produce more milk when they're spoken to;
it's a case in one ear & out the udder.
it's a case in one ear & out the udder.
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2025 11:49 am
Every morning, I tell the family I'm going out for a jog, but then I don't.
It's a running joke.
It's a running joke.
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2025 11:19 am
Tony Blackburn read one of my ribbed ticklers out, on Saturday's show & here it is:
I'm tone deaf & have no sense of rhythm.....but I won't make a song & dance about it.
Aloe Vera? Evening, Primrose!
Interesting Fact:
Frank Sinatra's "Songs For Swinging Lovers" was the 1st LP to go to No.1 in the charts.
I'm tone deaf & have no sense of rhythm.....but I won't make a song & dance about it.
Aloe Vera? Evening, Primrose!
Interesting Fact:
Frank Sinatra's "Songs For Swinging Lovers" was the 1st LP to go to No.1 in the charts.
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2025 12:05 pm
Here is a bonus joke, to celebrate William Shakespeare's birthday:
He got involved in a fight, but it was quickly broken up.
It was Much Ado About Nothing.
He got involved in a fight, but it was quickly broken up.
It was Much Ado About Nothing.