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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2022 12:13 pm
by steveqpr881
I was in a pub quiz last night.
The question came up, "What was Mud's biggest hit?"
I said, "Tiger Feet?"
He said, "That's right, that's right...…." (one for the oldies)
I swapped my bed for a trampoline.
The wife's not happy....in fact, she hit the roof. 
QPR rhyming slang:
Mike Keen - Barry Sheen. eye thenk-yew!
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2022 3:18 pm
by steveqpr881
Through the 12k barrier!
To celebrate, here's the cream of the crop from Saturday's Tony Blackburn Show:
To the bloke who owned my house in the 1980's & decided to glue woodchip to every wall;
also to the 2 people who've owned it since, and decided to gloss over it. Several times;
I hope your weekend was as enjoyable as mine was. 
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2022 10:25 am
by steveqpr881
I got stung by a bee; it charged me £20 for a jar of honey! 
I bought a jumper, but it was full of static.
So I took it back & got another - free of charge. 
Where Are They Now?
ex-White City boy, M.P. turned novelist & Rs fan Alan Johnson has just published
a new book, a crime story called "One of Our Ministers Is Missing."
I won't miss any of the current lot!
And an appropriate QPR Rhyming Slang: (M'sieu, you are really spoiling us)
(famous photographer) Youssef Karsh - Rodney Marsh.
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2022 12:24 pm
by steveqpr881
Bought a deep fat fryer, but had to take it back.
It'd obviously been used before, there were a couple of chips in it. 
Alan Harris - Shirley Ballas.
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2022 11:25 am
by steveqpr881
Now as you all know, it drives me mad when I hear that it's national so & so day.
But here's one I really approve of: this week is National Recycling Week.
And here, to celebrate, is a selection of jokes recycled from the Tony Blackburn Show.
I've been taken to court, for writing a book with no full stops;
I'm expecting a long sentence.
When I was at school, my favourite teacher was Mr. Turtle;
an odd name, but he taught us well. 
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2022 11:40 am
by steveqpr881
The BBC is one hundred years old today!
And here, to celebrate, is the very first joke told on the Beeb, 100 years ago today.
Told by 2 upper class gents, in evening dress.
Mr. Cholmley-Warner: I say, Grayson,my dog's got no nose.
Grayson: How does he smell??
Mr. Cholmley-Warner: Bally awful!!
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2022 10:54 am
by steveqpr881
Just been sacked from my job in a calendar factory.
A bit harsh.....I only took a day off.
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2022 11:20 am
by steveqpr881
These days, I can't even be bothered to be apathetic. 
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2022 2:02 pm
by steveqpr881
NEWSFLASH!!!
Rishi Sunak confirmed as P.M.
Honestly, what are those Tories like??
They change PM more often than QPR change manager!! 
(Ooh, a bit political -that'll bring the govt. down, yes indeedy)
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2022 9:12 am
by steveqpr881
Did we all put our clocks back an hour on Sunday?
I wish we could put them back to a time before Liz Truss was PM!
Ooh, a bit political - and topical.
Here's another topical one:
Chelsea fans! Fancy a short break on the south coast?
All together now - you can't beat Brighton!!