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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Just heard, my favourite Italian chef has died.
He's pasta way.
I struggle with Roman numerals until I get to 159 - then it just CLIX.
Interesting Fact: The Pound Stirling is the oldest currency in use today
(& I don't just mean the white fivers in JD's wallet)
Kevin Gallen - Dave Allen.
He's pasta way.
I struggle with Roman numerals until I get to 159 - then it just CLIX.
Interesting Fact: The Pound Stirling is the oldest currency in use today
(& I don't just mean the white fivers in JD's wallet)
Kevin Gallen - Dave Allen.
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Met a Dalek - he said he was from Devon -
I asked which part - he said, "Exeter, mate Exeter, mate."
I asked which part - he said, "Exeter, mate Exeter, mate."
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
If there's one thing I hate more than my agoraphobia, it's going out.
Just heard on the radio, Pink Floyd have released a single to raise funds for Ukraine:
HAVEN'T THEY SUFFERED ENOUGH ALREADY???
It probably goes, "Hey, Putin - leave those kids alone."
Just heard on the radio, Pink Floyd have released a single to raise funds for Ukraine:
HAVEN'T THEY SUFFERED ENOUGH ALREADY???
It probably goes, "Hey, Putin - leave those kids alone."
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Now you know me, I'm not one to boast......but yesterday, I had the heating on!
And that reminds me of a comedy classic;this joke won the Eurovision Joke Contest back in 1968:
Q: What did the gas meter say to the shilling?* (*- younger readers:I'm sure kerrins will be happy to explain what a shilling was )
A:Glad you dropped in!
It's the Grand National today, and here's Steve's Top Tip:
Put your money on Riderless Horse, it's first across the line every year.
Chris Day - Johnnie Ray
And that reminds me of a comedy classic;this joke won the Eurovision Joke Contest back in 1968:
Q: What did the gas meter say to the shilling?* (*- younger readers:I'm sure kerrins will be happy to explain what a shilling was )
A:Glad you dropped in!
It's the Grand National today, and here's Steve's Top Tip:
Put your money on Riderless Horse, it's first across the line every year.
Chris Day - Johnnie Ray
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
I'm reading a new book, "Improve Your memory," by, er....whatisname.....
Thought For The Day:
If I make someone breakfast in bed, a word of thanks wouldn't go amiss;
not "How did you get in my house?"
Thought For The Day:
If I make someone breakfast in bed, a word of thanks wouldn't go amiss;
not "How did you get in my house?"
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
A McVitie's lorry caused chaos today, after its load om the M25.
A police spokesman said, "Crumbs! It took a moment to digest, but officers didn't crumble."
My girlfriend said she's leaving me in the morning, because of my infatuation with Wham lyrics.
I said, "Wake me up before you go,go."
Just got a job as a window cleaner.
I'm only an apprentice, but at least I've got my foot on the ladder.
A police spokesman said, "Crumbs! It took a moment to digest, but officers didn't crumble."
My girlfriend said she's leaving me in the morning, because of my infatuation with Wham lyrics.
I said, "Wake me up before you go,go."
Just got a job as a window cleaner.
I'm only an apprentice, but at least I've got my foot on the ladder.
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Atomic power....it's really going to mushroom
Ed Sheeran was asked how he felt, after he won his plagiarism court case;
he said, "I feel good" - and James Brown sued him!
Interesting Fact: Lobsters wee from their face.
Ed Sheeran was asked how he felt, after he won his plagiarism court case;
he said, "I feel good" - and James Brown sued him!
Interesting Fact: Lobsters wee from their face.
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Where Rishi Sunak's wife pays her tax is neither here nor there
Ooh, satire - I should write for Private Eye.
Ooh, satire - I should write for Private Eye.
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Woke up this morning & I couldn't remember what time the sun rose.....
then it dawned on me.
Speaking of the sun; I once asked my Dad if he knew what a total eclipse was;
he said, "No, son."
then it dawned on me.
Speaking of the sun; I once asked my Dad if he knew what a total eclipse was;
he said, "No, son."
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Scientists have invented a car that runs on parsley!
They're now trying to make a bus run on tyme.
Interesting Fact: Prof. Stephen hawking is the only person to play himself in Star Trek.
Fascinating, captain....
They're now trying to make a bus run on tyme.
Interesting Fact: Prof. Stephen hawking is the only person to play himself in Star Trek.
Fascinating, captain....