Independent Rs Messageboard

[steveqpr881]

Sad news, mirth fans, as we open the very last door on this year's
Advent Calendar of Dooom.

After last year's Xmas dinner, the wife asked if I could clear the table;
it took a long run-in, but I manages it!
Merry Xmas, everybody!!

[steveqpr881]

Back to normal with the jokes -
My favourite school teacher was Mrs. Turtle. An odd name, but she really taught us.

[steveqpr881]

Had a great New Year's Eve, I went to the RNLI party.
Those guys really know how to push the boat out!

[steveqpr881]

The local lion tamer has gone bankrupt - must be terrible, to lose his pride!
Maybe we could have a whip-round for him.

[steveqpr881]

I went to the library, I said "Have you got any books about turtles?"
The librarian said, "Hard back?"
I said, "Yes - and a small head."

[steveqpr881]

I like to write songs about birds, but I'm running out of ideas.
The next one could be my swan song.

[steveqpr881]

I've been thrown out of the Secret Cookery Club!
I kept spilling the beans.

[steveqpr881]

I returned an overdue book to the library, "A History of Clocks."
The librarian said, "It's about time."

QPR Rhyming Slang.
It was his birthday yesterday, so....
Iain Dowie - David Bowie.

[steveqpr881]

Just lost my job as the Town Crier.......I was in tears.