Independent Rs Messageboard

[steveqpr881]

I went to a water park & spent all day on the slides.
now I'm addicted to them - it's a slippery slope!

Interesting Fact (or fax):
The fax machine was invented (by Scotsman Alexander Bain)
in 1843 - 33 years before the telephone was invented!

[steveqpr881]

Someone stole all the grass from my garden.......now all the birds are looking forlorn

Tony Blackburn told this on today's show, but as usual he didn't give me credit for it.
I'm sure he reads this fred for inspiration!

Anyway, here's one I got from him; and I always give credit, so that it's not plagiarism
I sat in a bath-full of baked beans yesterday, for Children In Need.
But I didn't raise any money......I forgot to tell anyone about it.

[steveqpr881]

A friend & his partner asked me to join them at a fruit-themed party.
But I didn't want to be a gooseberry.

[steveqpr881]

Whenever I take my dog to the park, the ducks peck him!
Well, he's pure bred......

Interesting Fact:
" mr owl ate my metal worm " backwards is " mr owl ate my metal worm "

[steveqpr881]

I'm thinking about buying a new sofa, but I'm not sure......
so I think I'll sit on it for a while.

[steveqpr881]

Went to the allotment yesterday, and a bloke was pushing his wheelbarrow around in circles.
I thought - he's lost the plot.

Interesting Fact:
Boffins have invented the smallest-ever pasta - it's 200 times thinner than a human hair.
Dont ask me why.....

[steveqpr881]

Fellers - stuck for ideas as to what to buy the missus for Xmas?
Don't make the mistake I made once; when she asked for 'something with diamonds'
a deck of cards will NOT do!

[steveqpr881]

I was on a train, and a toddler in the next seat was going "Choo choo."
Didn't have the heart to tell him it was an electric train, not steam.....
but I did anyway.

Interesting Fact:
There is a colony of scorpions on the Isle of Sheppey!
They've been there for 200 years, originally brought over on ships from Italy.

[steveqpr881]

I once worked as a human mannequin in a clothes shop; a position I held for a long time.

And just to give you all fair warning; as Sunday is December 1st, it'll soon be time for the
Advent Calendar of Doom!

[steveqpr881]

They say money talks......mine has said goodbye!

I'd like to give a big shout out to all the hard of hearing.