Independent Rs Messageboard

[steveqpr881]

Scientists have invented a car that runs on parsley!
They're now trying to make a bus run on tyme.

Interesting Fact: Prof. Stephen hawking is the only person to play himself in Star Trek.
Fascinating, captain....

[steveqpr881]

Newsflash: Burnley have sacked Sean Dyche, and replaced him with Michael Jackson.
The new manager said, "Ok, results were Bad - no wonder Sean wanted to Beat It.
But hopefully, our next game will be a Thriller - one win and the fans will be Off The Wall."

Ok, I'm leaving this open....anybody else got any Michael Jackson song title puns??
Feel free to chip in.......

[steveqpr881]

....nobody? Ok, never mind - back to the usual fare.
A friend came over yesterday & we played hide & seek.
It went on for hours, which just goes to show.....
a good friend is hard to find.

Interesting Fact: today's date is a palindrome - that is,for the less
intelligent of you, the numbers are the same backwards as well as forwards:
22/4/22 = 22/4/22 backwards. Well I never!

[steveqpr881]

Today is St. George's Day!! Happy St. George's Day, everybody.
It's also the birthday of William Shatner (Shakespeare, shurely? - ed.)
You're right, silly me, meant to say Shakespeare
and here are some bard-related jokes:
Shakespeare booked a holiday in Devon, but he couldn't decide where to go;
Torbay, or not Torbay?
He always wrote his plays with a pen,not a pencil; if he'd used a pencil he
couldn't decide 2B, or not 2B.

[steveqpr881]

I've had to give up my job as a contortionist - it's been getting harder & harder to make ends meet.

Recently, we've had palindrome Day & St. George's Day....heard on the radio this morning that today is
National Hug A Plumber Day. Who decides these things??

Thought For The Day: note today's date, 25th April. This can only mean one thing -
8 MONTHS TO CHRISTMAS !!!

[steveqpr881]

Did anyone hear my name-check on Radio 2 on Tuesday?
It was on early breakfast show, I answered their quiz correctly.
Just call me Professor Pop.
Any way, on with the jokes (Must we?? - ed.)
I woke up this morning, and the ghost of Gloria Gaynor was stood at the foot of the bed.
First I was afraid, I was petrified.....

Interesting Fact: It is illegal for frogs to croak after 11pm in Memphis, Tennessee.

[steveqpr881]

I've lost my Thesaurus,and I can't find the words to describe how I feel.

Most bees are actually allergic to pollen; if exposed, they develop hives.

Thought For The Day:
If it's ok for women to go to the toilet in pairs, why is it that, when I do it,
I always get chucked out of the greengrocers??

Chris Day - Macy Gray.

[steveqpr881]

I really don't know how Elon Musk made his fortune.
After all, he paid $43 BILLION for Twitter,but I just downloaded it for free!
Then again, my poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been
my Achilles Elbow.
Interesting Fact: candy floss was invented by a dentist!

[steveqpr881]

I had to have a neck brace fitted. I was a bit nervous at first,
but since it's been done, I haven't looked back.

One thing's for sure; nothing's certain.

[steveqpr881]

Happy Star Wars Day, everybody!
Yes, it's the 4th of May - May the fourth be with you.
Don't worry, I won't crack the old Darth Vader joke-
you know, the one about feeling your presents.

I was on a country walk, and a shepherd asked me if I could round up his 29 sheep.
I said, OK - 30.

Interesting Fact: Poodle-clipping was an event in the1900 Olympics!

And a new feature: songs with QPR players' names in the title.
Alejandro (Faurlin) - Lady Gaga.