Independent Rs Messageboard

[steveqpr881]

I've been thrown out of the Secret Cookery Club!
I kept spilling the beans.

[steveqpr881]

I returned an overdue book to the library, "A History of Clocks."
The librarian said, "It's about time."

QPR Rhyming Slang.
It was his birthday yesterday, so....
Iain Dowie - David Bowie.

[steveqpr881]

Just lost my job as the Town Crier.......I was in tears.

[steveqpr881]

A bear walks into a pub.
He says, "Can I have a large vodka.............and Coke, please."
The barman asks, "Why the long pause?"
The bear replies, "Dunno - I've had them since I was born."
No animals were harmed in the making of this joke.

[steveqpr881]

Just went to the Mecchano exhibition.
It was riveting.

[steveqpr881]

I was just charged £20 for a roll of Velcro - what a rip-off

[steveqpr881]

A mate told me to bet on a horse called Landfill, so I had a fiver on it.
But it came last - what a poor tip that was.

Highlighters are the pens of the future - mark my words.

[steveqpr881]

Scientists have invented the world's strongest suction cup!
I'm not sure how they pulled that off.....

[steveqpr881]

I've recently taken up bell ringing....but I'm still learning the ropes.
It's called Campnology.....rings a bell.

[steveqpr881]

When I was a baby, my Mum used to bathe me in Australian lager.
So it wasn't a shock when I found out I'd been Fostered.