For all QPR and Non QPR threads that don't fit in the other areas.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Speaking of the new year, of course it's a time for resolutions.
My resolution is to stop using spray deodorant - roll on the new year!!
:D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Still on the Xmas-related theme......
a friend of mine keeps giving me colanders as birthday/Xmas presents;
it's putting a strain on our friendship. :?
:)
Thought For The Day: One bird can't make a pun. But toucan.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

A mummy has been found in Egypt, covered in chocolate & crushed nuts.
It's The Pharaoh Rocher.
:oops:
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I've ordered a chicken & an egg online; I'll let you know which came first. :roll:

My neighbour took me to court for stealing his windows; I've been framed. :o

And a man who sued BA for misplacing his luggage has, er..... lost his case.
:lol:
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Yesterday, I got my penis in the Guiness Book of Records! :o
But the librarian told me to take it out......
:?
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Some top NASA boffins watched the earth turn for 24 hours.
Then they got bored, so they called it a day.
;)
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Someone just rang me, sneezed 3 times, then hung up.
I hate these cold calls...... :evil:

Top Tip:
In this cold weather, add a splash of anti-freeze to the water in your bird bath,
so that our feathered friends can still enjoy a drink. :?
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I asked the librarian - have you got any books on noise control?
She said - Yes; what volume would you like? :D

Went to the shop to but some Oxo cubes, but I couldn't believe it - they were out of stock! :(
Which reminds me of the scientist who crossed an Oxo cube with nitrous oxide - it was a laughing stock.
:?
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I've just seen on social media that Denmarks' new king is Frederik X;
was he previously known as Frederik Twitter???
:shock:
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

The gap between rungs on ladders has been increased; this is what's known as climb-it change. :)

I accidentally swallowed some food colouring.
The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've died a little inside.
:?
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