Time to open Tuesday's door on.......The Advent Calendar of Doom.
I was talking to a vegan friend; he said he won't wear a Christmas jumper, because
it takes 2 sheep to make. I said I didn't know sheep could knit.
I saw some chess players in a hotel lobby; they were all talking about how good they
are at the game (bear with me, there's a Chrismassy punchline).
There's nothing worse than chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
Christmas is a good time for films on the telly, and favourite is Groundhog Day.
If I could watch one film over & over, it'd be Groundhog Day.
And we open today's door on The Advent Calendar of Doom:
It was Xmas Eve on the Death Star. Darth Vader said to the emperor,
"I know what you've got for Xmas......I felt your presents.
Time once more to open the door on......The Advent Calendar Of Doom.
My mate fell out with his girlfriend when he told her what he'd bought her for Xmas;
she's a vegan & she said she'd never wear a coat made out of animal skin.
He had to explain, that's not what a donkey jacket is.
One more opening of The Christmas Cracker of Doom;
I got this out of a cracker on Xmas Day, sent it to Tony Blackburn & he said it on his
Boxing Day show; with a name-check for yours truly.
Q: Why did the turkey join a band?
A:Because he had the drumsticks.
Strictly speaking, the 12 Days of Christmas aren't quite over yet, so let's open
another door on The Advent Calendar of Doom (Must we?? - ed.)
I bought my nephew 3 socks for Xmas.....his mum said he'd grown another foot this year.
And I bought my pal some opticians' vouchers, so he could see in the New Year.
Still on the Xmas-related theme......
a friend of mine keeps giving me colanders as birthday/Xmas presents;
it's putting a strain on our friendship.
Thought For The Day: One bird can't make a pun. But toucan.