For all QPR and Non QPR threads that don't fit in the other areas.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Bumped into an old pal, he said he'd got a new job in a bowling alley.
I said, "Ten pin?" He replied, "no, it's permanent." :roll:

And time to open today's door on The Advent Calendar of Doom:
I was putting my Xmas tree up yesterday, and I swallowed some of the ornaments.
Now I've got a sore throat - I think it's tinsellitus.
:D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Tony Blackburn told one of my Christmas crackers on Sunday, and here it is,
behind today's door on.........The Advent Calendar of Dooooom
How did Good king Wenceslas like his pizza?
Deep pan, crisp and even.
Just think, that joke is over 2,00 years old!
:D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Time once more to open a door on The Advent Calendar of Doom:
My kids keep laughing at my poor memory;
well, they won't be laughing on Christmas Day, when there are no eggs under the bonfire. :?

And the welcome return of QPR Rhyming Slang:
Frank Saul - Lynsey de Paul.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Once more, we open a new door on........The Advent Calendar of Doom :o

My local council has been criticised for only having decorations on the bottom half of all its Xmas trees.
the staff responsible have all been put on fir-low. :?
Not very good? OK, here's another -
After last year's Xmas meal, the wife asked me if I could clear the table;
it took a hell of a run-up, but I just about managed it!
:D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Did anyone hear me on today's Jeremy Vine show?
Not the 1st time I've been on it....when I talk, the world listens! ;)

Anyway, time to open today's door on The Advent Calendar of Doom:
This is the season of office parties, which reminds me - at last year's, when the meal was finished,
the waiter said, "Do you wanna box for the leftovers?"
I said, "No, I'm not a violent man, you have 'em." 8-)

And the return of The Burning Question:
Die Hard - IS it a Christmas film??
:?
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Time to look behind the door on The Advent Calendar of Doom.
I bought a book on DIY surgery as a Xmas present for a friend.
But when I got it home, the appendix had been removed. :?
They say a dog's for life, not just for Christmas; reminds me of the time I
bought a dog from a blacksmith;as soon as I got him home, he made a bolt for the door.
:D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

And yet again, we open the door on........The Advent Calendar of Doom.
Just bought my wife a wooden leg for Christmas. :o
It's not her main present, just a stocking filler.
:D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.......
time to to pen today's door on The Advent Calendar of Doom.
I'm going to buy my 5 year old son a 21amp bulb for Xmas -
I can't wait to see his little face light up.
;)
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Oh I wish it could be Christmas, every day.......
And once more we open the door on The Advent Calendar of Doom:
Best present I had last year was a DIY mime kit - I was literally speechless.
:lol:
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Once more, we open a new door on The Advent Calendar of Doom.
I was doing some last-minute Xmas shopping & I saw a radio with a sticker that said,
"Volume control not working, only £5."
Well, I thought at the price, you can't turn it down.
:D
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