For all QPR and Non QPR threads that don't fit in the other areas.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

5 ants moved into my house. Then another 5 moved in. They're my tenants. :shock:

And Tony Blackburn told my bunk bed joke on today's show.....I put it up on here last Sat.,
that just goes to show he does read this thread!
:?
Last edited by steveqpr881 on Tue Oct 31, 2023 10:16 am, edited 2 times in total.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Went to a fancy dress party, & some guy turned up with no costume, he was just giving a woman a piggy-back.
I asked him what he was supposed to be, and he said "I'm a tortoise - this is Michelle." :o

Today's Burning Question:
Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?
And how do we know the fridge light goes off when we shut the door??
:?
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I watched an Australian cookery show last night.
Somebody baked a meringue & got a round of applause.
Which surprised me - don't they boo meringues in Australia?? ;)

That reminds me of the time I sold a boomerang to a ghost;
I thought - that'll come back to haunt me.
:D

And today's Burning Question:
Why is it that people say they slept like a baby, when babies wake up every couple of hours??
:?
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

My friend was so shocked when he won the Lottery, fell into a vat of wet concrete!
Well, at least he's set for life..... :?

And today's Burning Question:
Why did kamikaze pilots wear crash helmets??
:shock:
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

My dear old Nan just had a stair lift fitted; but she doesn't like it, says it
drives her up the wall. I offered to have a look at it, see if I could do anything -
she said she might take me up on it. :?

And today's Burning Question:
Why do people point at their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point
to their bum when asking where the toilet is??
:shock:
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I asked my wife what women really want & she said a tent full of lovers.
Or perhaps it was an attentive lover - I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention. :?

Just had a threatening letter from a company I buy a lot of spice from;
if I don't pay my bill, they'll call in the bay leafs. :o

The Burning Question:
If vegetable oil is made from vegetables, and corn oil is made from corn,
what is baby oil made from??
:shock:
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Can I just offer a word of encouragement to anyone thinking of starting a perfume factory.
You know it makes scents..... 8-)

Interesting Fact:
Today is the 60th anniversary of the 1st Dr. Who episode.


steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I'm in trouble with a friend; he lent me an audiobook, but I accidentally deleted the last chapter.
I'll never hear the end of it. :?

Today's Burning Question - and I must warn you, it's a controversial one.
The Jaffa Cake: is it a cake, or is it a biscuit??
:o
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I saw an ad. for Yoga lessons. £100 a time, but I thought - I can stretch to that. :D

We say goodbye to the Burning Question for now but don't worry, it'll soon be time for
The Advent Calendar of Doom.......
:o
steveqpr881
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Well, it's the 1st day of December - a pinch & a punch etc - & the festive season is well & truly underway;
Felice Navidad, as Josie Felicitano used to say. Haven't heard from her for years, wonder what's she's up to these days?? :shock:
Anyway, as promised (don't you mean threatened? - ed.) I'm opening the first door on.....
THE ADVENT CALENDAR OF DOOM with this festive and appropriate joke:
Did you hear about the shoplifter who nicked an advent calendar? He got 25 days.
:lol:
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