steveqpr881 wrote: ↑Fri Mar 25, 2022 3:08 pm
[color=#0000BF
btw, 3,944 views - should go thru the 4k mark over the weekend[/color]
Sure enough - 4,031!
And the cream of the crop from this morning's Tony Blackburn Show:
I accidentally handed my wife a tube of glue when she asked me to pass her
lipstick over. She's still not talking to me.
I live in a village where everyone wears a jumper that's 2 sizes too small;
it's a very close-knit community.
Must remember not to upset Will Smith's wife......
Who'd win a Star Wars light sabre duel between Yoda,and the lead singer of Traffic?
Steve Winwood (think about it)
I've just been told I'm colour blind.
That came as a real bolt from the green.
Just had an email from a Mrs. Smith, who says -
"Steve, please explain that Star Wars joke, or my old man will come over & give you a slap."
Well, it's a play on words;
the lead singer of Traffic was Steve Winwood, and if Yoda was asked that question, he'd reply
"Steve, win would." Because that's how Yoda talks.
Or maybe I should say, "Talks, that's how Yoda does." - get it?
Hope that clarifies things.
As you know, I get hundreds of emails every day from my legion of fans -
well, dozens. One or two. OK, none. But here's another email from Mrs. Smith,
she says, "Steve son, tell us one of your side-splitting ribbed ticklers, or my husband will
come over & give yo' ass a slap." Always happy to oblige, so here goes:
My grief councillor died recently;
luckily, he was so good at his job, I didn't give a monkey's.
Thought For The Day:
Is a row of Barbie dolls called a barbeque ??
Apparently, Elton John did a tribute song at Shane Warne's funeral.
He's getting to be a regular at this sort of thing;
there was Princess Diana's funeral of course, and who can forget his
moving tribute to Mahatma Gandhi.....Sandals in the Bin.
Interesting Fact: Singer Meatloaf was actually a vegetarian.
btw, if anyone else would like to contribute a joke or 2, feel free......
the £5 incentive* still applies.
By the way - and I'm blowing my own trumpet here -
have a look at the latest issue of Private Eye;
they've printed my letter (page 23) & it's a real ribbed tickler.
Don't ask me what it says, go into WHSmith & have a look.....
My dog usually comes in for a meal every day at 12;
but since the clocks went forward, he's an hour late.
Guess he's not a watch dog.....
And that reminds me of this comedy classic:
a man went to see his GP, he said,
"Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog."
The doc replied, "Do you want to lie on the couch?"
The man said, "No thanks, I'm not allowed."
That Val Doonican....the only man in showbiz who didn't want a personalised numberplate.
