Independent Rs Messageboard

[steveqpr881]

Went shopping yesterday, and I dropped a bag of flour on the floor!
Mind you, I didn't need to pick it up....it was self-raising!

[steveqpr881]

Happy St. George's Day, everyone!
And it's also William Shakespeare's birthday - Shakespeare walked into a tavern & the barkeeper said, "You're bard."
Shakespeare once fancied a holiday in Devon, but he couldn't decide where, exactly - Torbay, or not Torbay?
And in a similar vein - he used to write his plays using a pencil, but he couldn't decide - 2B, or not 2B.

[steveqpr881]

Newsflash - workers at the tool-sharpening factory have gone on strike;
apparently, they all have an axe to grind!

[steveqpr881]

I was pulled over in my car by Old Bill yesterday!
The copper said, "Would you blow into this bag please, sir."
I asked him why, he said, "Because my chips are too hot."

Interesting Fact:
Half of the World's bluebells grow in England.
It is an offence to dig them up, punishable by a fine of £5,000 per bulb!

Thought For The Day:
When life gives you anagrams, make melonade.

[steveqpr881]

I entered a marathon in Sweden;I knew I'd taken a wrong turn when I crossed the Finnish line.

[steveqpr881]

I saw a man in my garden, wearing a baseball cap, a polo shirt & tennis shoes.
I said, "Oi - what's your game??"