Independent Rs Messageboard

[steveqpr881]

Good news - I got a few more jokes from this year's Christmas crackers (that's good news?? - ed.)
so here goes:
What do you call a row of men waiting for a haircut? A barber queue.
What does a frog do if his car breaks down? He gets it toad away.
How do you keep cool at a football match? Stand next to a fan!

[steveqpr881]

Happy New Year, mirth fans & here is the cream of the latest Tony Blackburn Show:
An estate agent sent me to view a house, the inside was full of mirrors.
I could see myself living there.

[steveqpr881]

Anybody want to buy my tennis ball machine??
It's a bit old, but it's served me well....

[steveqpr881]

David Beckham's son has signed for Brentford!
When he got to the clubm he asked what number shirt he'd have.
The manager replied, "Wear 4 out there, Romeo." Geddit??

Thought For The Day:
Switzerland's a lovely country, but the mountains spoil the view.

[steveqpr881]

It's time once more for me invoke the spirit of Cyril Fletcher off of That's Life, and say "I am indebted to my good friend Justin
for posting this ribbed tickler on Facebook:
Diana Ross tried to jump the queue ahead of me in the supermarket.
I said, "You can't hurry, luv - you've just got to wait."
Esther.....

[steveqpr881]

2 slices of bread got married.
All went well, until somebody decided to toast the bride & groom!

[steveqpr881]

For any fans driving to today's game, here is a traffic bulletin:
A lorry carrying nasal sprays has shed its load on the M4 near Reading.
However, police say there shoudn't be any congestion.

[steveqpr881]

Steve R., I don't know if ads are allowed on here?
Only I've started a new business selling miniature baths & sinks,
I wonder if I can get a small plug?

[steveqpr881]

Phew, that's a relief!
What with this MB being down for a few weeks, I thought when it eventually came back,
we'd have lost all the posts; as has happened a few times.
But no, all the old stuff is here - good news.
And some even better news......I've got a huge backlog of jokes (so what's the good news? - ed.)
Like this ribbed tickler:
Just broke up with my girlfriend, as she hoarded magazines.
We had too many issues.

And this Komedy Klassic:
My pet parrot died yesterday. It'd been ill for a long time;
to be honest, it was a weight off my shoulder.

[steveqpr881]

I've just added a new magic trick to my repertoire;
I Just mix up some ground garlic, basil, pine nuts, olive oil & parmesan, and - hey pesto!