Independent Rs Messageboard

[steveqpr881]

Told my interior decorator, I didn't want any carpet on the staircase;
he just gave me a blank stare.

[steveqpr881]

The local McDonalds was broken into twice.
Police have caught the culprit, a double cheeseburglar.

Interesting Fact:
Saturday was the 50th anniversary of ABBA winning Eurovision, with Waterloo;
the UK judges gave it nil points, even though we won the battle of Waterloo!

Thought For The Day:
Do penguins have a chocolate bar called Human??

[steveqpr881]

Just bumped into a bloke I haven't seen for years - he once sold me a miniature globe.
It's a small world......

[steveqpr881]

I woke up, and my moustache was gone!
It was stolen right from underneath my nose.

[steveqpr881]

A friend of mine has just retired after working 20 years driving a limousine.
He didn't have a pension though - all that work & nothing to chauffeur it.

[steveqpr881]

Just been given a Thesaurus. Can't find the words to express my gratitude.

[steveqpr881]

I was talking to Steve R the other day, I said "Steve, have you seen that film, the Hunt For Red October?"
He said, "No - I hate films with sub titles."

[steveqpr881]

I see we're through the 900,000 views barrier - I million here we come!!
And today's ribbed tickler:
I've just started working in an ice cream parlour.
6 days a week, I don't do Sundays (sundaes, geddit?? )
And an Interesting Fact -
Gorillas are the only animals, apart from Man, to suffer from piles.

[steveqpr881]

The wife was annoyed that she missed some new hairdressing show on TV.
I said never mind, the highlights are on later.

[steveqpr881]

I keep dreaming I'm a horse. That's 5 nights on the trot now.....


Ladies! When I bring you breakfast in bed, how about a word of thanks?
None of your "Who are you & how did you get in my house?"
Just sayin'......


Lee Cook - Dr. Hook