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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Scientists have invented a car that runs on parsley!
They're now trying to make a bus run on tyme.
Interesting Fact: Prof. Stephen hawking is the only person to play himself in Star Trek.
Fascinating, captain....
They're now trying to make a bus run on tyme.
Interesting Fact: Prof. Stephen hawking is the only person to play himself in Star Trek.
Fascinating, captain....
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Newsflash: Burnley have sacked Sean Dyche, and replaced him with Michael Jackson.
The new manager said, "Ok, results were Bad - no wonder Sean wanted to Beat It.
But hopefully, our next game will be a Thriller - one win and the fans will be Off The Wall."
Ok, I'm leaving this open....anybody else got any Michael Jackson song title puns??
Feel free to chip in.......
The new manager said, "Ok, results were Bad - no wonder Sean wanted to Beat It.
But hopefully, our next game will be a Thriller - one win and the fans will be Off The Wall."
Ok, I'm leaving this open....anybody else got any Michael Jackson song title puns??
Feel free to chip in.......
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
....nobody? Ok, never mind - back to the usual fare.
A friend came over yesterday & we played hide & seek.
It went on for hours, which just goes to show.....
a good friend is hard to find.
Interesting Fact: today's date is a palindrome - that is,for the less
intelligent of you, the numbers are the same backwards as well as forwards:
22/4/22 = 22/4/22 backwards. Well I never!
A friend came over yesterday & we played hide & seek.
It went on for hours, which just goes to show.....
a good friend is hard to find.
Interesting Fact: today's date is a palindrome - that is,for the less
intelligent of you, the numbers are the same backwards as well as forwards:
22/4/22 = 22/4/22 backwards. Well I never!
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Today is St. George's Day!! Happy St. George's Day, everybody.
It's also the birthday of William Shatner (Shakespeare, shurely? - ed.)
You're right, silly me, meant to say Shakespeare
and here are some bard-related jokes:
Shakespeare booked a holiday in Devon, but he couldn't decide where to go;
Torbay, or not Torbay?
He always wrote his plays with a pen,not a pencil; if he'd used a pencil he
couldn't decide 2B, or not 2B.
It's also the birthday of William Shatner (Shakespeare, shurely? - ed.)
You're right, silly me, meant to say Shakespeare
and here are some bard-related jokes:
Shakespeare booked a holiday in Devon, but he couldn't decide where to go;
Torbay, or not Torbay?
He always wrote his plays with a pen,not a pencil; if he'd used a pencil he
couldn't decide 2B, or not 2B.
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
I've had to give up my job as a contortionist - it's been getting harder & harder to make ends meet.
Recently, we've had palindrome Day & St. George's Day....heard on the radio this morning that today is
National Hug A Plumber Day. Who decides these things??
Thought For The Day: note today's date, 25th April. This can only mean one thing -
8 MONTHS TO CHRISTMAS !!!
Recently, we've had palindrome Day & St. George's Day....heard on the radio this morning that today is
National Hug A Plumber Day. Who decides these things??
Thought For The Day: note today's date, 25th April. This can only mean one thing -
8 MONTHS TO CHRISTMAS !!!
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Did anyone hear my name-check on Radio 2 on Tuesday?
It was on early breakfast show, I answered their quiz correctly.
Just call me Professor Pop.
Any way, on with the jokes (Must we?? - ed.)
I woke up this morning, and the ghost of Gloria Gaynor was stood at the foot of the bed.
First I was afraid, I was petrified.....
Interesting Fact: It is illegal for frogs to croak after 11pm in Memphis, Tennessee.
It was on early breakfast show, I answered their quiz correctly.
Just call me Professor Pop.
Any way, on with the jokes (Must we?? - ed.)
I woke up this morning, and the ghost of Gloria Gaynor was stood at the foot of the bed.
First I was afraid, I was petrified.....
Interesting Fact: It is illegal for frogs to croak after 11pm in Memphis, Tennessee.
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
I've lost my Thesaurus,and I can't find the words to describe how I feel.
Most bees are actually allergic to pollen; if exposed, they develop hives.
Thought For The Day:
If it's ok for women to go to the toilet in pairs, why is it that, when I do it,
I always get chucked out of the greengrocers??
Chris Day - Macy Gray.
Most bees are actually allergic to pollen; if exposed, they develop hives.
Thought For The Day:
If it's ok for women to go to the toilet in pairs, why is it that, when I do it,
I always get chucked out of the greengrocers??
Chris Day - Macy Gray.
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
I really don't know how Elon Musk made his fortune.
After all, he paid $43 BILLION for Twitter,but I just downloaded it for free!
Then again, my poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been
my Achilles Elbow.
Interesting Fact: candy floss was invented by a dentist!
After all, he paid $43 BILLION for Twitter,but I just downloaded it for free!
Then again, my poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been
my Achilles Elbow.
Interesting Fact: candy floss was invented by a dentist!
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
I had to have a neck brace fitted. I was a bit nervous at first,
but since it's been done, I haven't looked back.
One thing's for sure; nothing's certain.
but since it's been done, I haven't looked back.
One thing's for sure; nothing's certain.
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Happy Star Wars Day, everybody!
Yes, it's the 4th of May - May the fourth be with you.
Don't worry, I won't crack the old Darth Vader joke-
you know, the one about feeling your presents.
I was on a country walk, and a shepherd asked me if I could round up his 29 sheep.
I said, OK - 30.
Interesting Fact: Poodle-clipping was an event in the1900 Olympics!
And a new feature: songs with QPR players' names in the title.
Alejandro (Faurlin) - Lady Gaga.
Yes, it's the 4th of May - May the fourth be with you.
Don't worry, I won't crack the old Darth Vader joke-
you know, the one about feeling your presents.
I was on a country walk, and a shepherd asked me if I could round up his 29 sheep.
I said, OK - 30.
Interesting Fact: Poodle-clipping was an event in the1900 Olympics!
And a new feature: songs with QPR players' names in the title.
Alejandro (Faurlin) - Lady Gaga.