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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
They say everyone needs a hobby, so I've taken up meditation.
Well, it's better than sitting around doing nothing.
Well, it's better than sitting around doing nothing.
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Must admit, I'm a bit of a prude.
If I see any innuendo in a joke, I whip it out immediately
I opened my water & electricity bills at the same time; I certainly got a shock!
Top Tip:
Ladies, if your man says he'll do something, he'll do it;
there's no need to keep reminding him every 6 months.
If I see any innuendo in a joke, I whip it out immediately
I opened my water & electricity bills at the same time; I certainly got a shock!
Top Tip:
Ladies, if your man says he'll do something, he'll do it;
there's no need to keep reminding him every 6 months.
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- Posts: 1558
- Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
- Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Times were tough when I was a kid; Mum worked in a nail shop, Dad was a chiropodist.
We always lived from hand to mouth.
I never had new clothes, always got my stuff form the Army & Navy store.
It was no fun going to school in the full dress uniform of a Japanese admiral!
Interesting Fact:
When Charles 1 started his reign, he was 5 foot 8;
when his reign ended, he was 5 foot 1.
We always lived from hand to mouth.
I never had new clothes, always got my stuff form the Army & Navy store.
It was no fun going to school in the full dress uniform of a Japanese admiral!
Interesting Fact:
When Charles 1 started his reign, he was 5 foot 8;
when his reign ended, he was 5 foot 1.
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
I went to the National Toupee Awards last night.
All the bigwigs were there.
Thought For The Day:
Paradoxes are funny things - you can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.
All the bigwigs were there.
Thought For The Day:
Paradoxes are funny things - you can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.
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- Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
- Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Just bought a cross-breed dog from a magician; it's a Labrcadabra.
Top Tip:
Want to look 10 years younger?
Take your glasses off before you look in the mirror.
Don't you just hate it when people answer their own questions?
I do!!
Top Tip:
Want to look 10 years younger?
Take your glasses off before you look in the mirror.
Don't you just hate it when people answer their own questions?
I do!!
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- Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
- Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
If anybody needs a lesson in double entendre, I'd be happy to give you one
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- Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
My clock business hasn't been doing very well, I've had to wind it up.
On a more positive note (it couldn't get any worse - ed.) I've been writing a book about
clocks & watches, it's taken me years but it's out next week. It's about time.
And the welcome return of an old favourite - The Burning Issue.
Today we ask - forcing rhubarb, should it be outlawed??
On a more positive note (it couldn't get any worse - ed.) I've been writing a book about
clocks & watches, it's taken me years but it's out next week. It's about time.
And the welcome return of an old favourite - The Burning Issue.
Today we ask - forcing rhubarb, should it be outlawed??
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- Posts: 1558
- Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
- Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
I failed the magician's exam. They were all trick questions.
The wife kept nagging me, for doing an impression of a flamingo;
well, I had to put my foot down!
Thought For The Day:
Is chewing your nails cannibalism??
The wife kept nagging me, for doing an impression of a flamingo;
well, I had to put my foot down!
Thought For The Day:
Is chewing your nails cannibalism??
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- Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
- Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
I've just been diagnosed as having a fear of giants;
or to use the medical term, Feefifobia.
Some things that didn't exist 20 years ago:-
Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, You Tube, Uber, Spotify......and Man City fans.
Thought For The Day:
Dog grooming - should the RSPCA do something about it??
or to use the medical term, Feefifobia.
Some things that didn't exist 20 years ago:-
Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, You Tube, Uber, Spotify......and Man City fans.
Thought For The Day:
Dog grooming - should the RSPCA do something about it??
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- Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
- Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
I've taken up ballet lessons!
Tell you what, learning to pirouette certainly keeps you on your toes.
Drank a bottle of invisible ink, so I had to go to A & E;
took me hours to be seen.
Tell you what, learning to pirouette certainly keeps you on your toes.
Drank a bottle of invisible ink, so I had to go to A & E;
took me hours to be seen.