-
- Posts: 1645
- Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
- Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Wishing a very Happy Birthday to this thread's spiritual guru*, Tony Blackburn - 81 today!
(*- that's where the majority of the jokes come from)
And here to celebrate is a selection of the finest ribbed ticklers from his weekend shows:
I sent my hearing aids off to be repaired; it's been 3 weeks now & I haven't heard a thing.
My pet goose can read all of the government's information; he's a proper gander.
(*- that's where the majority of the jokes come from)
And here to celebrate is a selection of the finest ribbed ticklers from his weekend shows:
I sent my hearing aids off to be repaired; it's been 3 weeks now & I haven't heard a thing.
My pet goose can read all of the government's information; he's a proper gander.
-
- Posts: 1645
- Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
- Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Time once more to don my velvet smoking jacket & channel Cyril Fletcher off of That's Life to say -
I am indebted to Rs fan Dan Wells (dannyboyUrs off of the old offy mb) for this ribbed tickler, what he put on Facebook:
I've been invited to a combined Burns Night/ Chinese New Year party.
They're calling it a Chinese Burns party.
Wasn't going to go at first, but they twisted my arm.
Esther.....
I am indebted to Rs fan Dan Wells (dannyboyUrs off of the old offy mb) for this ribbed tickler, what he put on Facebook:
I've been invited to a combined Burns Night/ Chinese New Year party.
They're calling it a Chinese Burns party.
Wasn't going to go at first, but they twisted my arm.
Esther.....
-
- Posts: 1645
- Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
- Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Just found out I'm allergic to liquorice.
I've got allsorts of symptoms.
I've got allsorts of symptoms.
-
- Posts: 1645
- Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
- Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
A friend of mine's started working for a dictionary publisher.
I fancy a job there myself, so I asked him to put a word in for me.
Went to an exhibition, all about shoemakers.
I wouldn't bother if I were you, it was a load of old cobblers.
Thought For The Day:
The problem with kleptomaniacs is, they take everything - literally.
I fancy a job there myself, so I asked him to put a word in for me.
Went to an exhibition, all about shoemakers.
I wouldn't bother if I were you, it was a load of old cobblers.
Thought For The Day:
The problem with kleptomaniacs is, they take everything - literally.
-
- Posts: 1645
- Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
- Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
I entered a competition to design work-wear.
I was the overall winner!
And today's Interesting Fact:
Yesterday, Feb. 4th, was a palindrome.
That is, the numbers read the same backwards, as they do forwards.
i.e., 4/2/24.
And that is the only palindrome date this year. Well I never!
I was the overall winner!
And today's Interesting Fact:
Yesterday, Feb. 4th, was a palindrome.
That is, the numbers read the same backwards, as they do forwards.
i.e., 4/2/24.
And that is the only palindrome date this year. Well I never!
-
- Posts: 1645
- Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
- Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
I've just started a new job, recycling old shoes.
But I've got to give it up - it's sole destroying.
Today's Interesting Fact:
We all know that the tomato is a fruit; but did you know that
rhubarb is a vegetable? Well it is. Well-I-Never!
But I've got to give it up - it's sole destroying.
Today's Interesting Fact:
We all know that the tomato is a fruit; but did you know that
rhubarb is a vegetable? Well it is. Well-I-Never!
-
- Posts: 1645
- Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
- Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Why was the baby jalapeno shivering?
Because it was a little chilli.
Because it was a little chilli.
-
- Posts: 1645
- Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
- Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
They say everyone needs a hobby, so I've taken up meditation.
Well, it's better than sitting around doing nothing.
Well, it's better than sitting around doing nothing.
-
- Posts: 1645
- Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
- Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Must admit, I'm a bit of a prude.
If I see any innuendo in a joke, I whip it out immediately
I opened my water & electricity bills at the same time; I certainly got a shock!
Top Tip:
Ladies, if your man says he'll do something, he'll do it;
there's no need to keep reminding him every 6 months.
If I see any innuendo in a joke, I whip it out immediately
I opened my water & electricity bills at the same time; I certainly got a shock!
Top Tip:
Ladies, if your man says he'll do something, he'll do it;
there's no need to keep reminding him every 6 months.
-
- Posts: 1645
- Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
- Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road
Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Times were tough when I was a kid; Mum worked in a nail shop, Dad was a chiropodist.
We always lived from hand to mouth.
I never had new clothes, always got my stuff form the Army & Navy store.
It was no fun going to school in the full dress uniform of a Japanese admiral!
Interesting Fact:
When Charles 1 started his reign, he was 5 foot 8;
when his reign ended, he was 5 foot 1.
We always lived from hand to mouth.
I never had new clothes, always got my stuff form the Army & Navy store.
It was no fun going to school in the full dress uniform of a Japanese admiral!
Interesting Fact:
When Charles 1 started his reign, he was 5 foot 8;
when his reign ended, he was 5 foot 1.