For all QPR and Non QPR threads that don't fit in the other areas.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1613
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

As today is Burns Night, I thought I'd celebrate with this ribbed tickler.
JD was out for a walk with his good lady wife Alison.
As they passed a luxury restaurant, she said "Oh, that smells divine."
So JD said, " OK, I'm going to spoil you."
And he turned around, and walked her past the restaurant again.
8-)
steveqpr881
Posts: 1613
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

2 slices of bread got married; all went well, until someone wanted to toast the bride & groom. :?

I was in a restaurant yesterday, and the waiter came up to the table holding a flag & a pistol.
Which was odd, because I hadn't ordered a starter.
:roll:
steveqpr881
Posts: 1613
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Wishing a very Happy Birthday to this thread's spiritual guru*, Tony Blackburn - 81 today!
(*- that's where the majority of the jokes come from)
And here to celebrate is a selection of the finest ribbed ticklers from his weekend shows:
I sent my hearing aids off to be repaired; it's been 3 weeks now & I haven't heard a thing. :?
My pet goose can read all of the government's information; he's a proper gander.
:D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1613
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Time once more to don my velvet smoking jacket & channel Cyril Fletcher off of That's Life to say -
I am indebted to Rs fan Dan Wells (dannyboyUrs off of the old offy mb) for this ribbed tickler, what he put on Facebook:
I've been invited to a combined Burns Night/ Chinese New Year party.
They're calling it a Chinese Burns party.
Wasn't going to go at first, but they twisted my arm. 8-)
Esther.....
steveqpr881
Posts: 1613
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Just found out I'm allergic to liquorice.
I've got allsorts of symptoms.
8-)
steveqpr881
Posts: 1613
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

A friend of mine's started working for a dictionary publisher.
I fancy a job there myself, so I asked him to put a word in for me. ;)

Went to an exhibition, all about shoemakers.
I wouldn't bother if I were you, it was a load of old cobblers. :)

Thought For The Day:
The problem with kleptomaniacs is, they take everything - literally.
:D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1613
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I entered a competition to design work-wear.
I was the overall winner!
:D

And today's Interesting Fact:
Yesterday, Feb. 4th, was a palindrome.
That is, the numbers read the same backwards, as they do forwards.
i.e., 4/2/24.
And that is the only palindrome date this year. Well I never!
steveqpr881
Posts: 1613
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I've just started a new job, recycling old shoes.
But I've got to give it up - it's sole destroying. :?

Today's Interesting Fact:
We all know that the tomato is a fruit; but did you know that
rhubarb is a vegetable? Well it is. Well-I-Never!
:ugeek:
steveqpr881
Posts: 1613
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Why was the baby jalapeno shivering?
Because it was a little chilli.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1613
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

They say everyone needs a hobby, so I've taken up meditation.
Well, it's better than sitting around doing nothing.
8-)
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