For all QPR and Non QPR threads that don't fit in the other areas.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1613
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

A mummy has been found in Egypt, covered in chocolate & crushed nuts.
It's The Pharaoh Rocher.
:oops:
steveqpr881
Posts: 1613
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I've ordered a chicken & an egg online; I'll let you know which came first. :roll:

My neighbour took me to court for stealing his windows; I've been framed. :o

And a man who sued BA for misplacing his luggage has, er..... lost his case.
:lol:
steveqpr881
Posts: 1613
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Yesterday, I got my penis in the Guiness Book of Records! :o
But the librarian told me to take it out......
:?
steveqpr881
Posts: 1613
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Some top NASA boffins watched the earth turn for 24 hours.
Then they got bored, so they called it a day.
;)
steveqpr881
Posts: 1613
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Someone just rang me, sneezed 3 times, then hung up.
I hate these cold calls...... :evil:

Top Tip:
In this cold weather, add a splash of anti-freeze to the water in your bird bath,
so that our feathered friends can still enjoy a drink. :?
steveqpr881
Posts: 1613
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I asked the librarian - have you got any books on noise control?
She said - Yes; what volume would you like? :D

Went to the shop to but some Oxo cubes, but I couldn't believe it - they were out of stock! :(
Which reminds me of the scientist who crossed an Oxo cube with nitrous oxide - it was a laughing stock.
:?
steveqpr881
Posts: 1613
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I've just started working for a company that makes oversized baths & sinks -
is it OK if I get a large plug for it??
;)
steveqpr881
Posts: 1613
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

What about this cold spell we're having at the moment?
I just tried to scrape the ice off my car windscreen with my discount card; but I only got 20% off. :?

Top Tip:
If you're trying to lift a heavy object, do it in the daytime not at hight;
it'll be lighter then.
8-)
steveqpr881
Posts: 1613
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I caught my neighbour stealing my socks off of the washing line.
I was going to confront him, but I got cold feet.
:?
steveqpr881
Posts: 1613
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I've heard a rumour about margerine, but I don't want to spread it..... :?
watched an Aussie TV cooking show, somebody made a meringue & the audience clapped -
as it was Australia, I thought they'd boo meringues??
:D
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