Anybody see Eurovision? No, me neither;
Anybody know who won it - or care? No, me neither.
Anyway, with all this nice weather we've been having, I decided to buy some new plants for the garden.
I went to the local garden centre, and who should I see - Michael J. Fox!
I knew it was him, he had his back to the fuschias.
I've only just found out my dad was a mime artist for over 50 years!
He certainly kept that quiet.....
Anybody see England v Slovenia last night??
No, me neither - I fell asleep after 10 minutes.
Are England the new QPR?? i.e., they struggle against the lesser sides......
Anyway, today's ribbed tickler to take away the blues:
When I was young, my mum used to bathe me in Australian lager.
It was quite a shock, when I found I'd been Fostered.
If you listen to the Tony Blackburn Show, you'll know I'm a regular contributor.
So much so that I really think they should call it the Tony Blackburn & Steve Masters Show
(I'm modest like that, I don't want top billing.)
Well today, Tony read out another one of my ribbed ticklers.And here it is.
I said, Tony, would you please play a song for my imaginary girlfriend.
She'll be totally made up.
Right, here's an absolute cracker, when I heard it on the Tony Blackburn Show this morning, I laughed out loud:
I took my new girlfriend out last night & she asked me if I had any pets. I said, "Yes - a goldfish."
She said, "Any hobbies?" "Well," I said - "He likes swimming."
steveqpr881 wrote: ↑Tue Nov 12, 2024 1:28 pmSomeone stole all the grass from my garden.......now all the birds are looking forlorn
Tony Blackburn told this on today's show, but as usual he didn't give me credit for it.
I'm sure he reads this fred for inspiration!
Anyway, here's one I got from him; and I always give credit, so that it's not plagiarism
I sat in a bath-full of baked beans yesterday, for Children In Need.
But I didn't raise any money......I forgot to tell anyone about it.
As previously mentioned, as we're now in December it's time to once more
THE ADVENT CALENDAR OF DOOM.
Todays Christmas Classic is about the famous Xmas song, "Little Drummer Boy," by Bing Crosbie & David Bowie.
When Bowie arrived at the studio to record the song, he noticed that Bing looked upset.
He said, "Hello Bing, what's up?"
"Well Dave," replied the old crooner, "My inflatable ass has sprung a leak."
Bowie replied, "Never mind, Bing - you can use my rubber bum pump."
"Rubber bum pump?" said Bing;
"Rubber bum pump," said Bowie.
All together now, rubber bum pump, rubber bum pump
Q: How do you tell the difference between an alligator & a crocodile?
A: Simple - an alligator will see you later, a crocodile will see you in a while.
Interesting Fact:
Admiral Nelson was only 5' tall, but his statue is 15' -
that's Horatio of 3 to 1.
