Independent Rs Messageboard

[steveqpr881]

My washing machine's broken, and I've given up trying to fix it -
I had to throw the towel in.....

[steveqpr881]

I find my aquarium very relaxing....it must be all the indoor fins.....

[steveqpr881]

My watch repair shop has gone bust
It was ticking over ok, then it ran out of business, so I had to wind it up.

[steveqpr881]

I was walking down the road, and I saw Suggs coming towards me.
I thought - that's a sign of approaching Madness.

The wife wasn't too happy when I bought a revolving chair -
but once she'd sat on it, she soon came around!

The government has asked people to nominate things which can be preserved, as
Great British Traditions. I nominate the QPR Injury Crisis, it's a regular thing, every season.

[steveqpr881]

I sent my hearing aid off to be fixed, weeks ago - I've heard nothing since.

Thought For the Day:
Aren't satnavs wonderful? We'd be lost without them!

[steveqpr881]

Aren't bookies annoying? They want it all their own way!!
Last Sat., I tried to put a bet on Oxford in the Boat Race, but they wouldn't let me make an each-way bet.

Today, apparently, is (wait for it) National Glazed Spiral Ham Day!
I've said it before, I'll say it again - who, ah say WHO, boy, decides these things??

[steveqpr881]

Farmers say that their cows produce more milk when they're spoken to;
it's a case in one ear & out the udder.

[steveqpr881]

Every morning, I tell the family I'm going out for a jog, but then I don't.
It's a running joke.

[steveqpr881]

Tony Blackburn read one of my ribbed ticklers out, on Saturday's show & here it is:
I'm tone deaf & have no sense of rhythm.....but I won't make a song & dance about it.

Aloe Vera? Evening, Primrose!

Interesting Fact:
Frank Sinatra's "Songs For Swinging Lovers" was the 1st LP to go to No.1 in the charts.

[steveqpr881]

Here is a bonus joke, to celebrate William Shakespeare's birthday:
He got involved in a fight, but it was quickly broken up.
It was Much Ado About Nothing.