As previously mentioned, as we're now in December it's time to once more
THE ADVENT CALENDAR OF DOOM.
Todays Christmas Classic is about the famous Xmas song, "Little Drummer Boy," by Bing Crosbie & David Bowie.
When Bowie arrived at the studio to record the song, he noticed that Bing looked upset.
He said, "Hello Bing, what's up?"
"Well Dave," replied the old crooner, "My inflatable ass has sprung a leak."
Bowie replied, "Never mind, Bing - you can use my rubber bum pump."
"Rubber bum pump?" said Bing;
"Rubber bum pump," said Bowie.
All together now, rubber bum pump, rubber bum pump
Time once more to open the door (Must we?? - ed.) on....
THE ADVENT CALENDAR OF DOOM.
Best present I had last Xmas was a teach-yourself mime kit - I was literally speechless.
What about this storm we've got at the moment?!
It's so windy, a chicken laid the same egg twice!!
And time to open today's door on The Advent Calendar of Doom:
Last year, somebody gave me a book on DIY surgery;
when I opened it, the appendix had been taken out!!
Once more ,we open today's door on the AC of D:
Scientists have crossed a turkey with an octopus.
No matter how many people there are around the table, everyone gets a drumstick!!
Time to open yet another door on..........
(special effects: door creaking open) THE ADVENT CALENDAR OF DOOM.
Fed up with turkey for Christmas? Why not try a Good King Wenceslas pizza -
deep pan, crisp & even!
They say a dog is for life, not just for Xmas - which reminds me, I bought a dog from a blacksmith
I'd only had him home an hour, and he made a bolt for the door!
Interesting Fact:
Today is National Panto Day. Altogether now, Oh no it isn't!
And we look behind yet another door on the Advent Calendar of Doom:
Went to the office Xmas party yesterday, when the meal was over, the waiter said,
"D'you wanna box for the left-overs?"
I said, "No, I'm not a violent man, you have them."
2 of my Christmas crackers were told on this morning's Tony Blackburn Show -
the tinsellitus & Good King Wenceslas pizza jokes.
But as ususal, not a word of credit for me
What, I hear you ask, is behind today's door on The Advent Calendar of Doom??
The worst Xmas present I have ever had was a packet of sticky playing cards.
I just couldn't deal with it.
I went to the Club shop yesterday & bought a Guinness mash-up shirt -
it's very Marmite, but I love it. A snip at £49.99!
And what Christmas Comedy Classic lurks behind today's door on the Advent Calendar of Doom?
The kids keep laughing at my poor grasp of reality.......
well, they won't be laughing on Xmas Day, when there are no eggs under the bonfire
