For all QPR and Non QPR threads that don't fit in the other areas.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1649
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I can't stand people who get their metaphors mixed up - I mean, it's not rocket surgery. :roll:
steveqpr881
Posts: 1649
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I thought I was alone in the bath, so imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder! :o

Here is a newsflash: a man sued BA over his misplaced luggage & they lost the case!
:D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1649
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I went to see a magician who only works with chocolate bars.
He had a couple of Twix up his sleeve..... :?

The polar bear said, "Do you know the humans have named a chocolate bar after you?"
The penguin said, "What - Eric??"
:D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1649
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Slim pickings on today's Tony Blackburn Show ( I thought you made them up yourself??!! - ed.)
so I'll have to ration the jokes this week, my stockpile is a bit low. :(
Here's a good one:
I asked a florist if a bunch of flowers would be cheaper if she used some from my garden;
she said she didn't like that arrangement.
:)
steveqpr881
Posts: 1649
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I was in Stratford-On-Avon, and I found an old pencil, said to have been used by Shakespeare! :o
I've taken it to an expert, to see if it's a 2B, or not 2B.
;)
steveqpr881
Posts: 1649
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I wouldn't say that having a poo is my favourite way to spend my time -
but it's a firm number 2!!
:D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1649
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Recently, I've been reflecting on all the people I've lost......
well, I've had plenty of spare time since I was sacked as a tour guide.
:?
steveqpr881
Posts: 1649
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I went to see my GP, I said - doctor, I've got chronic toothache, earache & a migraine.
He said, It's all in your head. :?

Top Tip:
Never lie to an X-ray technician, they can see right through you!
steveqpr881
Posts: 1649
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I started my own tailoring business....but it fell apart at the seams. :?

Interesting Fact:
Before Robert Plant joined Led Zeppelin, he was almost asked to be Slade's lead singer!
:o
steveqpr881
Posts: 1649
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I've just bought 2 puppies.
I've called them Calvin & Klein, because they're a pair of boxers.
:D
Post Reply