For all QPR and Non QPR threads that don't fit in the other areas.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1646
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

A man is in court & he's been found guilty.
The judge says, "Before I pass sentence, do you have anything to say?"
"Fuck all," replies the man. :o
The judge asks the Clerk of the Court, "What did he say?"
"He said 'fuck all', Your Honour," replied the Clerk;
"No, you're wrong," said the Judge - "I definitely saw his lips move."
:D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1646
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

A friend of mine keeps coming over dressed as a different shape each day -
he'll be round later.
:?
steveqpr881
Posts: 1646
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I'm trying to make a new door, but it's not going well - I just can't get a handle on it. :?

Just started going out with a girl from the soft drinks factory; it's a cordial relationship. ;)

Interesting Fact:
Heard on the radio this morning, today is National Carrot Day!
Who thought of that - Jasper??
steveqpr881
Posts: 1646
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Today's birthday (see The Birthdays Thread) reminds me of this QPR Rhyming Slang:
Steve Wicks - Stevie Nicks.
:D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1646
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

My local restaurant had a fancy dress night.
I went as a tennis ball - didn't take long to get served.
:D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1646
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I'm tone deaf & I have no sense of rhythm. :?
But I won't make a song & dance about it. 8-)


Chris Day - Peter Kay.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1646
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I can't stand people who get their metaphors mixed up - I mean, it's not rocket surgery. :roll:
steveqpr881
Posts: 1646
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I thought I was alone in the bath, so imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder! :o

Here is a newsflash: a man sued BA over his misplaced luggage & they lost the case!
:D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1646
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I went to see a magician who only works with chocolate bars.
He had a couple of Twix up his sleeve..... :?

The polar bear said, "Do you know the humans have named a chocolate bar after you?"
The penguin said, "What - Eric??"
:D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1646
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Slim pickings on today's Tony Blackburn Show ( I thought you made them up yourself??!! - ed.)
so I'll have to ration the jokes this week, my stockpile is a bit low. :(
Here's a good one:
I asked a florist if a bunch of flowers would be cheaper if she used some from my garden;
she said she didn't like that arrangement.
:)
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