For all QPR and Non QPR threads that don't fit in the other areas.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1649
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Forgot to mention this before, but I had another joke read out on BBC Radio 2 on Saturday -
a Tibetan monk saw the face of Jesus in his tub of margerine and said -
I can't believe it's not Buddha!
:o :D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1649
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

With the recent death of Chris Searle, it's only fitting to hand this fred over to his former colleague,
Cyril Fletcher, to say "I am indebted to the obituary of Tito Jackson* in the latest Private Eye,
for this ribbed tickler: His cause of death was said to be heart failure, but personally, I blame it on the boogie. :(
Esther......."


*- see Celebrity Deathwatch fred
steveqpr881
Posts: 1649
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I opened the fridge, and my pack of cream cheese started playing music!
It's The Sound of Philadelphia! 8-)

Interesting Fact:
Richard Geere's father, Gottler, was a ventriloquist.
:?
steveqpr881
Posts: 1649
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

A man is in court & he's been found guilty.
The judge says, "Before I pass sentence, do you have anything to say?"
"Fuck all," replies the man. :o
The judge asks the Clerk of the Court, "What did he say?"
"He said 'fuck all', Your Honour," replied the Clerk;
"No, you're wrong," said the Judge - "I definitely saw his lips move."
:D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1649
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

The policewoman who was accused of stealing loo rolls from the police station
has said she's put it all behind her now.
8-)
steveqpr881
Posts: 1649
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

A friend of mine keeps coming over dressed as a different shape each day -
he'll be round later.
:?
steveqpr881
Posts: 1649
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I'm trying to make a new door, but it's not going well - I just can't get a handle on it. :?

Just started going out with a girl from the soft drinks factory; it's a cordial relationship. ;)

Interesting Fact:
Heard on the radio this morning, today is National Carrot Day!
Who thought of that - Jasper??
steveqpr881
Posts: 1649
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Today's birthday (see The Birthdays Thread) reminds me of this QPR Rhyming Slang:
Steve Wicks - Stevie Nicks.
:D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1649
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

My local restaurant had a fancy dress night.
I went as a tennis ball - didn't take long to get served.
:D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1649
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I'm tone deaf & I have no sense of rhythm. :?
But I won't make a song & dance about it. 8-)


Chris Day - Peter Kay.
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