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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Forgot to mention this before, but I had another joke read out on BBC Radio 2 on Saturday -
a Tibetan monk saw the face of Jesus in his tub of margerine and said -
I can't believe it's not Buddha!
a Tibetan monk saw the face of Jesus in his tub of margerine and said -
I can't believe it's not Buddha!
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
With the recent death of Chris Searle, it's only fitting to hand this fred over to his former colleague,
Cyril Fletcher, to say "I am indebted to the obituary of Tito Jackson* in the latest Private Eye,
for this ribbed tickler: His cause of death was said to be heart failure, but personally, I blame it on the boogie.
Esther......."
*- see Celebrity Deathwatch fred
Cyril Fletcher, to say "I am indebted to the obituary of Tito Jackson* in the latest Private Eye,
for this ribbed tickler: His cause of death was said to be heart failure, but personally, I blame it on the boogie.
Esther......."
*- see Celebrity Deathwatch fred
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
I opened the fridge, and my pack of cream cheese started playing music!
It's The Sound of Philadelphia!
Interesting Fact:
Richard Geere's father, Gottler, was a ventriloquist.
It's The Sound of Philadelphia!
Interesting Fact:
Richard Geere's father, Gottler, was a ventriloquist.
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
A man is in court & he's been found guilty.
The judge says, "Before I pass sentence, do you have anything to say?"
"Fuck all," replies the man.
The judge asks the Clerk of the Court, "What did he say?"
"He said 'fuck all', Your Honour," replied the Clerk;
"No, you're wrong," said the Judge - "I definitely saw his lips move."
The judge says, "Before I pass sentence, do you have anything to say?"
"Fuck all," replies the man.
The judge asks the Clerk of the Court, "What did he say?"
"He said 'fuck all', Your Honour," replied the Clerk;
"No, you're wrong," said the Judge - "I definitely saw his lips move."
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
The policewoman who was accused of stealing loo rolls from the police station
has said she's put it all behind her now.
has said she's put it all behind her now.
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
A friend of mine keeps coming over dressed as a different shape each day -
he'll be round later.
he'll be round later.
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
I'm trying to make a new door, but it's not going well - I just can't get a handle on it.
Just started going out with a girl from the soft drinks factory; it's a cordial relationship.
Interesting Fact:
Heard on the radio this morning, today is National Carrot Day!
Who thought of that - Jasper??
Just started going out with a girl from the soft drinks factory; it's a cordial relationship.
Interesting Fact:
Heard on the radio this morning, today is National Carrot Day!
Who thought of that - Jasper??
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
Today's birthday (see The Birthdays Thread) reminds me of this QPR Rhyming Slang:
Steve Wicks - Stevie Nicks.
Steve Wicks - Stevie Nicks.
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
My local restaurant had a fancy dress night.
I went as a tennis ball - didn't take long to get served.
I went as a tennis ball - didn't take long to get served.
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Re: Joke Thread 3.0
I'm tone deaf & I have no sense of rhythm.
But I won't make a song & dance about it.
Chris Day - Peter Kay.
But I won't make a song & dance about it.
Chris Day - Peter Kay.