Independent Rs Messageboard

[steveqpr881]

Team GB has announced that we will not be putting out a team in the Olympic Hide & Seek.
A spokesman said, "Good players are hard to find."

[steveqpr881]

I rang my GP for an appointment about my Sudoko obsession;
he said he could fit me in between 9 & 5.

[steveqpr881]

There's a squirrel in my back garden that just can't make its mind up.......
it's been on the fence all day.

Interesting Fact:
The Four Tops were booked to be on the Lockerbie plane, but overslept & missed it!

[steveqpr881]

Went to a restaurant last night, the manager said "Do you mind waiting a bit?"
I said no, and he said, "Well in that case, takes these meals to table 4."

Interesting Fact:
Beetroot as we know it does not exist in the wild;
it was developed from the sea beet.

[steveqpr881]

With all this hot weather, I decided to go to Boots & buy some deodorant.
I asked the assistant if they had any, and he said "Certainly, sir - ball or aerosole?"
"Actually," I said (all together now) "It's for my armpits."

[steveqpr881]

Talking about the weather, I've just started e new job, in an air conditioner factory.
It's got a nice chilled atmosphere.

Fitz Hall - Bobby Ball.

[steveqpr881]

I'm really enjoying the Olympics. My favourite sport is blindfold archery.
What's that - you've never heard of it?? You don't know what you're missing!!

[steveqpr881]

Time to once more channel the spirit of the late Cyril Fletcher (off of That's Life), smooth down my velvet
smoking jacket (oh, get on with it - ed.), turn to the camera, simper and say,
"I am indebted to Daniel Wells, aka dannyboyurs off the old offy MB, for this ribbed tickler*"
I went to a flea market....all I got was a nervous tic.

*-it's not plagiarsm if you acnowledge your 'sauce'

[steveqpr881]

I threw a ball for my pet dog.......
OK, a bit extravagant, but he looked great in a tuxedo.

Interesting Fact:
The letter J was only added to the Welsh alphabet in 1987!

[steveqpr881]

2 young Americans (cue for a song?) knocked on my door yesterday, smart with short hair & suits
& asked if I'd ever considered the merits of brown bread.
They were Hovis Witnesses.