For all QPR and Non QPR threads that don't fit in the other areas.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1631
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I ate a clock. It was very time-consuming, especially when I went back for seconds.

Walking around town, I passed an apple pie, a tiramisu & a Black Forest gateau.
I thought - these streets are strangely desserted.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1631
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Not many people are called Lance these days, but in the olden days, people were called Lance a lot. :?

I've been offered a job at the alphabetti spaghetti factory; I just need to check the Ts & Cs. :)

It's Father's Day this Sunday & I'm stuck for what to buy my dad.
He's an opera singer.....what can you get for a tenor?? :D

Interesting Fact:
There are only 3 rivers in Ireland - Liffey, Shannon & Dance.
:lol:
steveqpr881
Posts: 1631
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Right, mirth fans, here's a real ribbed tickler, what I nicked off of QPR Pride of London -
as I always say, it's not plagiarism if you acknowledge your 'sauce.'

Polish fans have gone on the rampage in Hamburg!
So far, there are reports of
50 cars valeted
27 boilers repaired
7 walls built
30 bathrooms tiled
24 hallways painted.

:D :D :D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1631
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I went to stay with friends, they said treat the house like it's yours.
So as soon as they went out, I put it on the market!
:D

Thought For The Day:
The duck-billed platypus is unique in the animal world, because it produces both eggs and milk;
it could make its own custard!!
:lol:
steveqpr881
Posts: 1631
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I cut the end of one my trouser legs & sent it to the library;
that was a turn-up for the books! :)

Just got fired from my job as a film set designer.
I didn't want to make a scene.....
:?
steveqpr881
Posts: 1631
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I rang my GP, to see him about my Sudoku obsession;
he said he could fit me in between 9 & 5...... :?

2 slices of bread got married.
All went well until the reception, when someone toasted the bride & groom! :o

Dennis Oli - Angelina Joli.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1631
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Just got a job, making miniature models of Dracula.
There's only 1 other person working there, so I have to make every second count. :)

It only takes me 5 minutes to walk to the pub, but 30 mins to walk back;
the difference is staggering!
:D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1631
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

When I gave my Dad his 80th birthday card, he said with a tear in his eye -
"One would have been enough, son."
steveqpr881
Posts: 1631
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Just took my paintball exam - passed with flying colours!

Interesting Fact:
Sir Ian McKellan once married fellow actor Patrick Stewart (out of Star Trek) :o
No, not like that.....Sir Ian is an ordained minister, and he conducted Sir Patrick's wedding ceremony.
Well I never! Tea - Earl Grey - hot!!
steveqpr881
Posts: 1631
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Anybody see England v Slovenia last night??
No, me neither - I fell asleep after 10 minutes. :roll:
Are England the new QPR?? i.e., they struggle against the lesser sides......

Anyway, today's ribbed tickler to take away the blues:
When I was young, my mum used to bathe me in Australian lager.
It was quite a shock, when I found I'd been Fostered.
:o
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