For all QPR and Non QPR threads that don't fit in the other areas.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1634
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I went to see a shrink, because I kept thinking I was a hotel.
He said, "Can I ask you a few questions?"
I said, "Sure - be my guest."
:D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1634
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

A friend came round the house, I offered him a coffee.
He said, "Is it instant?" I said, "I'll be as quick as I can." :D

I've just written my autobiography, but I can't find a publisher who's interested.
That's the story of my life....
;)
steveqpr881
Posts: 1634
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Just bought a U2 satnav, and it's rubbish! :evil:
The streets have no name, and I still haven't found what I'm looking for!

btw, speaking of U2, I heard recently that Cher used to be married to Bono-
that can't be right, shurely?? :shock:
steveqpr881
Posts: 1634
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I've just switched my energy provider, from Lucozade to Red Bull.

I'm thinking of setting up a price comparison comparison website,
to compare price comparison websites......
8-)
steveqpr881
Posts: 1634
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Here's a ribbed tickler what I thought up myself, I sent it to Tony Blackburn
for his Sunday show, he read it out and laughed!
I've just opened a shop, where you can bring in your old Cluedo, Monopoly, Ludo etc
& swap them for other sets. There's never been anything like it -
it's a real game-changer!!
:D :D :D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1634
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

My next-door neighbour keeps playing Lionel Richie songs.......
it never ends, it's All Night Long :?

I don't like to dwell on the past, but every time I reverse my car, it takes me back.....
steveqpr881
Posts: 1634
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I ate a clock. It was very time-consuming, especially when I went back for seconds.

Walking around town, I passed an apple pie, a tiramisu & a Black Forest gateau.
I thought - these streets are strangely desserted.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1634
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Not many people are called Lance these days, but in the olden days, people were called Lance a lot. :?

I've been offered a job at the alphabetti spaghetti factory; I just need to check the Ts & Cs. :)

It's Father's Day this Sunday & I'm stuck for what to buy my dad.
He's an opera singer.....what can you get for a tenor?? :D

Interesting Fact:
There are only 3 rivers in Ireland - Liffey, Shannon & Dance.
:lol:
steveqpr881
Posts: 1634
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Right, mirth fans, here's a real ribbed tickler, what I nicked off of QPR Pride of London -
as I always say, it's not plagiarism if you acknowledge your 'sauce.'

Polish fans have gone on the rampage in Hamburg!
So far, there are reports of
50 cars valeted
27 boilers repaired
7 walls built
30 bathrooms tiled
24 hallways painted.

:D :D :D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1634
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I went to stay with friends, they said treat the house like it's yours.
So as soon as they went out, I put it on the market!
:D

Thought For The Day:
The duck-billed platypus is unique in the animal world, because it produces both eggs and milk;
it could make its own custard!!
:lol:
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