For all QPR and Non QPR threads that don't fit in the other areas.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1641
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I once asked my dad if he could explain what a solar eclipse was.
He said, "No, son." :?

The Burning Question:
Why oh why was the QE2 Bridge named after the famous ship?? :shock:

Interesting Fact:
Janet Keiller, who invented marmalade, was an ancestor of tv gardener* Monty Don!
Well I never.
(*- when I say tv gardener, I mean he's a gardener who's on tv, not that he's a gardener & a transvestite.)
steveqpr881
Posts: 1641
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I've got a new job, helping out a bloke who fixes potholes.
When he can't do it, I fill in for him...... 8-)

Interesting Fact:
Bumf is military slang, short for bumfodder, or toilet paper. :o

QPR Rhyming Slang:
Marcus Bean - James Dean.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1641
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

My 3 sons have won the Pogoing Championship for the 3rd year running!
That's 3 on the bounce!! :D

Top Tip:
Never fall asleep on a cross word - you'll wake up with a puzzled expression.
:o
steveqpr881
Posts: 1641
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

My local library has started lending vegetables.I thought - that's a turnip for the books. :oops:

Interesting Fact:
Legally, ice cream vans' chimes must last no more than 12 seconds.
Well I never!
steveqpr881
Posts: 1641
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

A friend came round the house, I offered him a coffee.
He said, "Is it instant?" I said, "I'll be as quick as I can." :D

I've just written my autobiography, but I can't find a publisher who's interested.
That's the story of my life....
;)
steveqpr881
Posts: 1641
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Just bought a U2 satnav, and it's rubbish! :evil:
The streets have no name, and I still haven't found what I'm looking for!

btw, speaking of U2, I heard recently that Cher used to be married to Bono-
that can't be right, shurely?? :shock:
steveqpr881
Posts: 1641
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I've just switched my energy provider, from Lucozade to Red Bull.

I'm thinking of setting up a price comparison comparison website,
to compare price comparison websites......
8-)
steveqpr881
Posts: 1641
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Here's a ribbed tickler what I thought up myself, I sent it to Tony Blackburn
for his Sunday show, he read it out and laughed!
I've just opened a shop, where you can bring in your old Cluedo, Monopoly, Ludo etc
& swap them for other sets. There's never been anything like it -
it's a real game-changer!!
:D :D :D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1641
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

My next-door neighbour keeps playing Lionel Richie songs.......
it never ends, it's All Night Long :?

I don't like to dwell on the past, but every time I reverse my car, it takes me back.....
steveqpr881
Posts: 1641
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I ate a clock. It was very time-consuming, especially when I went back for seconds.

Walking around town, I passed an apple pie, a tiramisu & a Black Forest gateau.
I thought - these streets are strangely desserted.
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