For all QPR and Non QPR threads that don't fit in the other areas.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1574
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I was talking to Steve R the other day, I said "Steve, have you seen that film, the Hunt For Red October?"
He said, "No - I hate films with sub titles."
:?
steveqpr881
Posts: 1574
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I see we're through the 900,000 views barrier - I million here we come!!
And today's ribbed tickler:
I've just started working in an ice cream parlour.
6 days a week, I don't do Sundays (sundaes, geddit?? ;) )
And an Interesting Fact -
Gorillas are the only animals, apart from Man, to suffer from piles.
:o
steveqpr881
Posts: 1574
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

The wife was annoyed that she missed some new hairdressing show on TV.
I said never mind, the highlights are on later.
:roll:
steveqpr881
Posts: 1574
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I keep dreaming I'm a horse. That's 5 nights on the trot now..... :?


Ladies! When I bring you breakfast in bed, how about a word of thanks?
None of your "Who are you & how did you get in my house?"
Just sayin'......


Lee Cook - Dr. Hook
steveqpr881
Posts: 1574
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Went for a job in a mirror factory; I thought, I can see myself doing that.
But I decided not to, on reflection. :?

Top Tip:
It's the London Marathon this Sunday.
Impress people by staggering around town after it's over, wearing running gear
& with six foot of bacofoil draped over your shoulders. 8-)
steveqpr881
Posts: 1574
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Went shopping yesterday, and I dropped a bag of flour on the floor!
Mind you, I didn't need to pick it up....it was self-raising!
:D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1574
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Happy St. George's Day, everyone!
And it's also William Shakespeare's birthday - Shakespeare walked into a tavern & the barkeeper said, "You're bard."
Shakespeare once fancied a holiday in Devon, but he couldn't decide where, exactly - Torbay, or not Torbay?
And in a similar vein - he used to write his plays using a pencil, but he couldn't decide - 2B, or not 2B.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1574
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Newsflash - workers at the tool-sharpening factory have gone on strike;
apparently, they all have an axe to grind!
:o
steveqpr881
Posts: 1574
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I was pulled over in my car by Old Bill yesterday!
The copper said, "Would you blow into this bag please, sir."
I asked him why, he said, "Because my chips are too hot." :?

Interesting Fact:
Half of the World's bluebells grow in England.
It is an offence to dig them up, punishable by a fine of £5,000 per bulb! :o

Thought For The Day:
When life gives you anagrams, make melonade.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1574
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I entered a marathon in Sweden;I knew I'd taken a wrong turn when I crossed the Finnish line. :?
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