For all QPR and Non QPR threads that don't fit in the other areas.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I'm having a bit of a clear-out; got a kite for sale, no strings attached.
Or how about a glove puppet - will someone take it off my hands??
steveqpr881
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Got a backlog of Easter jokes, courtesy of Tony Blackburn :?

I stepped on a hot cross bun & got an electric shock - a currant ran up my leg. :o

Went to the doctor, I said I feel like a chocolate Easter bunny;
he said how do you mean? I said hollow inside. 8-)

Interesting Fact:
Soul singer Marvin Gaye was born on this day in 1939;
he played drums on Motown's 1st US No. 1, 'Please Mr. Postman,' by The Marvelettes.
And a bonus Interesting Fact (M'sieu, you are really spoiling us!)
The weekend's Chelsea v Burnley game had 51 shots; only 1 Premiership game has had more,
52 in QPR v Leicester, November 2014
steveqpr881
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Saw my GP about my addiction to coupons.
He said I need to cut them out.
:?
steveqpr881
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Told my interior decorator, I didn't want any carpet on the staircase;
he just gave me a blank stare.
:?
steveqpr881
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

The local McDonalds was broken into twice.
Police have caught the culprit, a double cheeseburglar.

Interesting Fact:
Saturday was the 50th anniversary of ABBA winning Eurovision, with Waterloo;
the UK judges gave it nil points, even though we won the battle of Waterloo!

Thought For The Day:
Do penguins have a chocolate bar called Human??
steveqpr881
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Just bumped into a bloke I haven't seen for years - he once sold me a miniature globe.
It's a small world......
8-)
steveqpr881
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I woke up, and my moustache was gone! :o
It was stolen right from underneath my nose.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

A friend of mine has just retired after working 20 years driving a limousine.
He didn't have a pension though - all that work & nothing to chauffeur it.
:?
steveqpr881
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Just been given a Thesaurus. Can't find the words to express my gratitude. 8-)
steveqpr881
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I was talking to Steve R the other day, I said "Steve, have you seen that film, the Hunt For Red October?"
He said, "No - I hate films with sub titles."
:?
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