For all QPR and Non QPR threads that don't fit in the other areas.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I failed the magician's exam. They were all trick questions. :?

The wife kept nagging me, for doing an impression of a flamingo;
well, I had to put my foot down! 8-)

Thought For The Day:
Is chewing your nails cannibalism??
:o
steveqpr881
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I've just been diagnosed as having a fear of giants;
or to use the medical term, Feefifobia. :o

Some things that didn't exist 20 years ago:-
Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, You Tube, Uber, Spotify......and Man City fans. :D

Thought For The Day:
Dog grooming - should the RSPCA do something about it??
:?
steveqpr881
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I've taken up ballet lessons!
Tell you what, learning to pirouette certainly keeps you on your toes. :shock:

Drank a bottle of invisible ink, so I had to go to A & E;
took me hours to be seen.
:D
steveqpr881
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Yesterday's so-called Manchester - Derby game was a joke
(you've done this one to death - ed.)
Ok, what about this ribbed tickler:
A friend said he didn't understand cloning; I said that makes 2 of us.
8-)
steveqpr881
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I keep forgetting to pay the rent on my allotment;
I think I'm losing the plot. :?

A friend of mine composes songs on a sewing machine!
He's a Singer songwriter. :roll:

And some QPR rhyming slang:
Marcus Bean - Barry Sheen.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

A friend suggested we change our names to pheasant & partridge;
I said - I'm game for that! :roll:

Paul Parker - Tarka (the otter)
steveqpr881
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Was talking to a friend last night; he said his wife went out for some milk 2 weeks ago, and never came back!
I asked him how we was coping; he said, "Not too bad, I'm getting used to the powdered stuff."
:o
steveqpr881
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

Just got a new job, as a scarecrow. I'm outstanding in my field. 8-)

I pulled a muscle when I picked up a pile of old magazines; now I've got back issues.
:?
steveqpr881
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I've just made a car out of washing machine parts; I'm taking it for a spin later. 8-)
Mind you, the council's just put a speed hump in my road; but I'm sure I'll get over it. ;)

QPR RS: Paulo Di Canio - Jack de Manio.
steveqpr881
Posts: 1519
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2021 9:58 am
Location: Running down the Uxbridge Road

Re: Joke Thread 3.0

Post by steveqpr881 »

I slept like a log last night - woke up in the fireplace. :?
I got up wondering when the sun would rise; then it dawned on me. 8-)

Thought For The Day:
If, as the makers of Pringles tell us, 'Once you've popped you can't stop'
then why do their packets have re-sealable lids??
:shock:
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