Independent Rs Messageboard

I know you lot won't take umbrage at this - because you don't know what umbrage means
Last night, the missus said she's leaving me, because of my obsession with Wham.
I said wake me up before you go, go.

The person who invented the Ferris Wheel never met the inventor of the Merry-Go-Round.
They moved in different circles.

Top Tip:
Fishermen -use licquorice as bait, you'll catch all sorts.

I've lost my job as a tandem sky-diver.
I was always falling out with people.....

Anybody see Eurovision? No, me neither; Anybody know who won it - or care? No, me neither. Anyway, with all this nice weather we've been having, I decided to buy some new plants for the garden. I went to the local garden centre, and who should I see - Michael J. Fox! I knew it was him, he had his b...

I don't know if you listen to the Tony Blackburn Show - eh? what's that? You don't need to, because I tell all his jokes on here - well that's true, but this morning, Tony told one of mine! And here it is: With all this warm weather we're having, I b ought a rocket salad yesterday; but it went off ...