Chief Sunny Bomolayarlayo
C/o The Central Post Office
The Capital City
The People’s Republic Of Sub Sahara Sub Tropical Motoboland.
The Special Personage of
Chief G Paladini
Queens Park Rovers Futball Clubs
Great England Land
London City Town
Greetings my Brother,
Please make patience, as I explain reason for make contact with such special Chief as yourself. Today the Gods and Spirits have truly blessed me……they have ordered me make contact you and share my wonderful good fortune and luck.
Please I explain……but first I know you bigger Chief than I, also I have much love for you in my heart, like a Son have love for a Father. Therefore, must be, I address you as ‘Papa’
Papa……you may ask any living creature in Motoboland, from the smallest Ant to the mighty Water Buffalo about Chief Sunny. As one, with truth in their hearts, they will all say the same thing, ‘I love Chief Sunny, he is good and most honest of man.’ Papa…..It is because my heart is open like a book, that I find myself visited by the bad spirit of misfortune.
I was Personal Assistant to Life President of Motoboland.
I lived in Presidential Palace with my three wives, and was a hardworking and most loyal of fellows. Then one day the Rebels come and they tell me…..’Chief Sunny, you must tell us where the President is hiding, he is very bad man, we must chop him into one thousand pieces.’
Papa…..of course I refused because my heart is brave like a lion.
Papa…..then the Rebels said that they would chop me into one thousand pieces instead. So Papa, forgive me…..I showed them where he was hiding, and they chopped him into one thousand pieces. So now Papa, I find myself alone in the world, without the President who so selfishly left me.
But Papa…..I alone hold the Bank Account numbers of the selfish ex-President, I cannot myself remove funds from the Accounts, no Papa……Therefore I need you to send me your Bank Account details, so that I may transfer the funds into your Account. I will then flee the country and come to Great England Land and live happily with my Papa. The total sum is 38,000,000,000,000 US Dollar. Of course for your assistance Papa, I will expect you to be keeping 20% for yourself. We will have a fine life together Papa…..you and me, your loyal son.
So make haste and forward your Bank name, Account number and Sort Code. How fortunate we both are, that the Gods should smile on us both this way.
Meanwhile, I am alone here Papa, I have no more friends….people laugh at me and spit upon me in the streets. So I stay at home with my wives. Then one day, number one wife shout at me….’Eh, Big Chief Sunny, stay in bed, sleep all day, with little food in the house, not so Big Chief now eh Sunny ?’
Papa…..this is the crazy world it is my misfortune to find myself in. Before, she would not speak without permission…..now she begin speak like a man. So Papa…..I take all my wives to the River….when we arrive there, I threw number one wife in River, and we watch as the Crocodiles eat her. This should be a good lesson for her Papa. I know, I know Papa, I should have thrown all my wives in River with Crocodiles….but this is my weakness, I am very kind man indeed.
I have read that some supporters of Queens Park Rovers speak untruths of you. So I wait until you order them to be thrown from the roof of the Stadium. Yet you do not do so ? This shows me in my heart what big man you are. Papa…..these mischievous fellows must pay for their errant ways.
Papa….may I kindly and humbly suggest that you cut off their ears, and nail them to the goal posts. This will ward off evil spirits. They will have no ears yet they will live. How lucky they should count themselves. Fellows such as these have no place in our lives Papa,
Make haste Papa. Send Bank details as requested. Then it will be sooner that I may arrive and be your son. With all of my loyalty, respect, and son’s love.
p.s Papa…please send photo of Queens Park Rovers player Alan Shearer
p.p.s Each time I think of my Papa, my heart bursts with love
p.p.s Please send my best hello to my brother Mr Steve Zico x